Yours, SS [Book 1]

Chapter 30

 Amilia shuffled about the dungeons after her rounds were completed; she kept finding herself in front of his office doors. She sighed and went into the common room, changing her clothes and doing bed checks. Once finished, she cautiously walked over to the portrait and quietly slipped up the stepped to see him.

The fire in the office had extinguished itself, leaving the room in an eerie darkness and damp coldness. Amilia felt around, making sure not to disturb any of the furniture as she worked her way to the door to his private chambers. Her hand rested on the cold metal of the handle, half expecting it to be locked or for him to throw it open in some strange fashion of anger or sadness. However, she found neither. The door hinges creaked as she opened the door, in here she found the fire out as well and nothing but darkness.

Unable to see anything, Amilia turned her attention to the fireplace, pointing at it, a fire began its soft glow over the room. Finally, able to see, she grabbed a couple of small logs and placed it on the little hungry flame. She pulled her robe closer over her shoulders and sighed. She wondered if he had gone out for a walk to calm down, but she had not seen him on her rounds. Sighing, she turned away from the fire to leave only to find a solid mass in front of her face. Amilia bit her lip as she breathed in the clean linen scent, "Severus, I..."

He reached down and pressed his lips against hers. Amilia pulled away, shocked, and stammering. In the soft glow of the glowing fire, she saw the confusion flash across his face and what little strength he had crumbled to dust. His shoulders slumped, and he gripped her sleeves as he fell to his knees. "I will understand if you leave."

Her heart clenched in her chest, and she squinted at the depressed mound of flesh at her feet. She could hear the faint, shaky breaths coming from the broken man. Leave? She softly breathed as she lowered herself to his level, "What do you mean?"

He lifted his face to look into hers, his eyes bloodshot. Amilia's eyes wandered all over his face and body. Tears had streaked his cheeks, and she could see remnants of snot under his nose. The ordinarily neat and pressed collar on his shirt was crumpled and wet. The hands that gripped the sleeves of her robes were bloodied, some smeared across the abdomen of his usually pristine white shirt. Amilia chanced a glance over the room now that the fire had grown more, the curtains were hanging precariously from the rods, the nightstand drawers on the floor, the bedding scattered around the room. She swore she could see the splattering of blood against the stone walls. Something in the corner glinted in the light, reflecting across the room. "Severus, what happened?"

"Are you leaving? Is that why you are here?" his voice was hoarse.

The question drew her eyes back to his face, his hair plastered on top of his head and rather unkempt as well. As if he had been gripping it in his fists to keep from doing something. "I just got here." Though the words he had used made sense, the meaning had not sunk in for her.

A sob escaped from his lips, "I am sorry...I...I want to be the person you deserve." His whole body began to shake. "Please... do not leave. I will do anything." His head dropped to her chest. Amilia could feel the few tears he could produce, slip from his face to her skin.

She shifted herself to sitting on the stone floors, and she smoothed his hair. Between the sobs and the crackling fire, the meaning behind his words finally sunk in. "I am not leaving Severus." She pressed her cheek against the top of his head. "Why would you think that?" she spoke softly.

"I...you...jerked away." He tried his best to hold in another whimper.

"Oh." She shook her head, "No, honey, I was...surprised."

"Then why are you here?" he said, his voice muffled by her chest.

"I wanted to apologize."

She could feel him stiffen a little; he raised his head, his eyebrows knitted together. "Apologize?"