Freedom Scouts School for Powered Individuals

Power Triggers

As we were walking back to the gym Eren asked if I could walk slower. We walked behind everyone else and when there was enough space between us and the others he started talking.

"So this might be a question that is too personal but I keep thinking about what you meant. You don't have to answer it if you don't want to but I have to ask. What did you mean when you were talking to Hanji you said you couldn't sit by, not again?"

I choked on the breath in my throat. After I stopped coughing I managed to clear my throat. "Oh, that," I managed to breath out. "Well," I took a deep breath, "there have been a few people who died and I could have saved them. I think the most recent one is that Thomas kid."

"Thomas? The one that was in my class," he mumbled.

"Yeah, I had noticed him acting weird around campus and a few times I had walked close to him there was a strong presence of depression. I never spoke to him, but one day walking past him on the way to class I could feel that he felt a sickening peaceful feeling. It wasn't normal it was a feeling that was happiness, but also a great sadness and dread. I knew the feeling before and I was planning on confronting him after class, but I never saw him again.

I tried tracking down his room number, but no one knew where to find him. When Hanji had announced the news the next day I felt absolutely horrible. I ended up walking out of class and spending the rest of the day in the bathroom sick to my stomach. That was the first night I spent out on the field."

That's the only one I can really bring myself to talk about. The rest hurt too much. I looked at Eren and let out a sigh. I knew what was coming.

"Levi it's not your fault," Eren said grabbing my hand and giving it a light squeeze. Yup there it was. The thing everyone says in this situation.

I just shrugged, "It is, and nothing can convince me it's not," I let out a sigh. "Do you know what people say when I tell them it's my fault? They say you couldn't have known it's not like you're a mind reader. Eren, I am a mind reader, I should have known I should have listened." I took a deep breath.

We stopped at the door and I took a breath before we walked inside. "As for the other deaths I'm responsible for," I felt my words start to stick in my throat, "that's for another time." I took a deep breath and walked into class with Eren trailing behind me. I could feel his worry and sadness. It hurt to know that I'm the cause of it this time, but I wasn't going to sugar coat it. It was my fault and I knew it there is no convincing me otherwise.

We sat down and Hanji and Erwin took roll again to make sure everyone was back in class. I took a deep breath and prepared myself for the torture. I pulled out my headphones and both Hanji and Erwin gave me a worried look but they continued on as normal.

I took a deep breath and took on everyone's thoughts. My head felt like exploding. I took a few deep breaths and opened my eyes. Eren had a worried look but I just gave him a nod to tell him I'm okay.

"So this section we will be taking a more personal direction with this." Erwin started.

"We are going to share our personal power triggers," Hanji said and I felt a surge of concern run through me. Is that really okay? Why are they doing that? I know Hanji and Erwin have always been open with their emotions and what happened, but they've never told their power triggers in such an open space. Hell, I've never even heard their power triggers before.

"Now the reason we are doing this is because after the break we will have time for everyone to share if they want to. You aren't required, but since this is a very personal topic to everyone here sometimes sharing helps people know they aren't alone and it helps people through it. So we are going to share ours and if you want to share yours then that is perfectly okay. If you don't want to share then that is okay too." Hanji explained.