Freedom Scouts School for Powered Individuals

Fear

I woke up in a panic and looked around. Eren seemed to wake up as well. "What's up what's wrong?" he asked sitting up still a little out of it from sleep.

"Sorry, just a nightmare," I said taking a breath, but I couldn't help but notice that feeling of dread behind it all. I didn't even remember my dream all I know is I was scared and panicked.

"You yelled my name," Eren said and it caught me off guard.

"I did what?" I asked looking at him desperate for him to tell me I heard him wrong.

"You yelled my name and sounded really scared."

I could feel all the blood run out of my face. I didn't want to tell him that I was feeling the dread from the same dream that apparently something bad happened to him in. I don't think I needed too. His look said it all. Shit was he feeling the same thing I was feeling. I tried to take a few breaths and get my emotions under control, but it was no use I was too panicked.

I felt a new kinda fear take over me as one of my spiraling thoughts hit me harder than the rest. I wrapped my arms around him and pulled him close to me. "Levi, I'm okay," he said wrapping his arms around me and placing a kiss on my cheek. "We don't know if that's what it means," he said. So he was feeling my emotions, he was able to put everything together that I was thinking.

"But what if it does," I whispered, "I can't lose you."

"You won't," Eren said back in a calming voice. "I promise you won't," he said and I felt my heart hurt. A part of me wanted to tell him not to make promises he can't keep, but I kept my mouth shut. He's right. We don't know if that's what this means. We don't know what this feeling is from exactly.

Eren took a deep breath and mumbled, "it's about time we head out to the field," he said and I took a deep breath and agreed.

"Okay," I mumbled knowing that I wasn't going to take my eyes off him all night. I can't lose him I don't care if I don't know what this means a part of me fears the worst and that's enough for me to be on guard.

We got dressed and before I could grab anything Eren looked at me and quietly asked, "can we just take it easy tonight. Today really stressed me out and I still need some time." His tone practically begged me.

"That's fine, I promised I'd give you a few days, and you worked on it a little by yourself today in the gym," I reminded him.

"Yeah, that's what stressed me out the most," He laughed awkwardly. "I think that was more stressful than having a gun pointed at me."

"Why?"

"Well, the gun was scary, but it's even scarier thinking that I could have potentially killed someone with a paintball pellet and it would be entirely my fault." He cleared his throat and brushed off his words but I could tell he was still really scared of his powers. I know he needs time, but I don't want him to scare himself out of ever using his powers again. "I'm going to grab my notebook," I heard him change the subject, "do you want me to grab any of your books while I'm at it?"

"I'll grab it," I said helping him load up a bag to take to the field. I grabbed the blanket and we quietly headed to the cafeteria to grab a quick bite first. We ate in the cafeteria before deciding to head out to the field it was cold tonight so I packed an extra blanket even after making sure we both had jackets.

I heard Eren's thoughts cut through the silence. His mind was racing as he tried to think of the dream I had and the dream he had the other night. He was wondering if they were connected or if they were just a coincidence. God, I hope they are just a coincidence. I hope all of this is just our minds playing a sick joke on us rather than something bad that might actually happen.

I just started opening up to people again, don't make me regret it. Please don't take away the people I care about, don't take him away. I can't lose him. I prayed to anyone who would listen.

I was snapped out of my depressing thoughts as Eren took my hand in his. "You're shaking," he mumbled and I realized just how much I let my emotions take control.

"Sorry." I mumbled before taking a deep breath, "I'm going to be honest, I'm scared."

"Me too," Eren mumbled back looking at me with worried eyes. He cleared his throat as we stopped walking. "Here I'll lay out the blanket," he said shaking his head a little trying to ignore the panic welling up inside him, inside me.

He laid the blanket down and we laid down on it and I hesitated for a moment before deciding to ask, "Eren, could you lay closer to me. I just really want to hold you right now."

He just nodded and scooted close to me. I pulled the second blanket out of the bag and laid it over us before laying the backpack up at our heads. I just held him close to me not wanting to ever let him go.

He never complained. Actually he seemed to feel the same way. He clung to me desperately and I could feel his hands trembling just as mine were earlier. I just held him closer, "everything is going to be okay. I'll make sure of it. I promise."

I felt those words leave my mouth and instantly knew I was going to regret them. Why was I making promises I don't know if I could keep. We are assuming something bad will happen to Eren, but we still have no clue what any of this is. It could be something completely random and unpreventable but here I am promising him protection that I can't guarantee.

"Thank you," He whispered and I felt him calm down his hands stopped trembling and his grip on my shirt loosened as he looked up at me with tired eyes. "I needed to hear that," he smiled. Even if in the end something does still happen I want you to know it's not your fault, his thoughts finished the rest of the sentence.

Before I could say anything I felt my eyes sting as my mouth opened to speak his words cut me off.

"Can we change the topic, this shit is kinda depressing," he said with a forced laugh.

"Okay," I said clearing my throat as my voice cracked a little. "Why don't you tell me about some of your story ideas?" I asked and his face lit up.

"I'd like that," he said pulling out his notebook. I spent the whole night holding him in my arms listening to him pour his heart out about the things he was most excited about. I couldn't help but watch the look of pure excitement on his face as he spoke, how his face would light up talking about some of the details, or how he would look at me and smile so wide when he saw that I was still listening and that I actually cared what he was talking about. He looked absolutely stunning. I love him. Wait, love? Hold your horses Levi. It's too soon to say that it's too soon to think that. I shook my head and focused on Eren.

The time seemed to fly by as we talked. He told me all about his ideas and I gave him some feedback and my thoughts on it. He took some notes about what I had said and written them in his notebooks. "I've been trying to fix that plothole for months and you did it in a minute," Eren laughed as he wrote the last note of the night. He let out a yawn and looked at the time.

"We should head back," I said after hearing him mentally say what time it was.

"Yeah, we have to be up in a few hours to meet up with everyone," Eren sighed.

"Oh shit, I forgot about that," I groaned.

We packed up the blankets and headed back to our dorm where we laid back down. I pulled Eren close to me and told him that I refuse to let go. He just laughed, "I hope you never let go."

That just made me pull him even closer. I placed a kiss on his lips, "your wish is my command," I smiled. 

He just laid his head on my chest before tiredly mumbling out, "goodnight."

"Goodnight babe," I said back as I felt my eyes start to close. Eren had already beat me to it. We both drifted off to sleep knowing our timer would be going off in just a few hours.