Sweets

Chapter 34

CARLIN

Peering up at the clock, I sigh and grab Jake's now cold plate of food off the table. It's nearly 8PM and he hasn't come home from work yet. This keeps happening. I'm eating alone almost every night recently and I know his internship isn't this demanding. At least I hope not.

Packing up the leftovers in a container he can heat up later, I wash the dishes and settle into the couch with wine and a warm blanket. Why is nothing interesting right now? Clicking it off, I open my tattered copy of Frankenstein and dive in where I left off. A few pages in I hear the sound of the lock on the front door and put my book back down.

"Hey babe," I try to sound as cheery as possible. " Did you have a good day today?"

"Yeah, sure." His keys clink on the table by the front door and his shoes drop next to the rack. He hasn't been much for cleaning up after himself recently either. Walking past the living room, he doesn't even glance my way. I frown and get up to follow him into the kitchen. He's taking a water bottle out of the fridge and I point to his container of leftovers.

"You weren't home for dinner again so I packed some up for you. It's one of your favorites. Chicken and dumplings." Leaning my hip on the counter, I watch his throat as he downs an entire water bottle. For a split second he looks into my eyes the way he had not too long ago and then it disappears.

"I ate already with Michelle. I'm good. I think I'll just go for a run." Every fucking night. Every fucking night he goes for a run. And why would he eat? He knows I'm making dinner.

"Why'd you eat with your boss's secretary? Isn't it a little cold to be running right now? I was just cuddled up on the couch. We could spend the night in together." My hand reaches for his but he pulls it away. " Or we could go out and do something. It's all up to you."

"Or I could go for a run and you could not wait up for me." Disappointment fills my face and I try not to cry for the hundredth time in the past few weeks. He has barely touched me in so long that I'm starting to think he doesn't want me anymore.

"Do you... do you not love me anymore? It's just... it's been a while since we've made love and you haven't really been around much and.... It's stupid, I'm sorry." I walk back toward the living room and grab my wine to finish it. I can't let him see me cry.

"Carlin wait." Don't turn around. Don't turn around. " Listen, I'm sorry. I should have eaten here. I'll try again tomorrow." I feel him behind me and breath in his scent. Now that he's actually close to me I can smell him first hand instead of his used shirts from the hamper. "We can talk when I get back from my run. He plants a quick kiss to my cheek and heads up the stairs to get changed. I lie back down on the couch and pull the blanket up to my chin. Is this ever going to get better?

---

My eyes spring open and I swat at the bedside table for my phone. It's only 5AM but there's no way I can go back to sleep now. Rubbing my eyes, I realize I was crying in my sleep. I haven't dreamt of the way he was before he left in a long time. I try to slide out from Jake's grip but he pops up from a dead sleep frantically.

"Sweets, what's wrong? Are you okay?" He kisses my forehead. Then leans down and kisses my stomach. " Is the baby okay?"

"I'm fine. It's fine. We're fine." Moving out from under him, I grab some shorts and a tank top. He lays back down on his side watching me as I pull off the only thing I'm wearing. His t-shirt.

"Why aren't you staying in bed? You want me to join you in the bath?" I grab my towel off of the rack on the back of my bedroom door and throw my hair up in a bun.