Breaking His Callous Heart (Part 1 of 3)

17: Messed Up

Aisha closed her eyes and drew a deep breath. She knew she had fallen madly in-love with Ayder for wanting to help him. Ngunit paano niya ito matutulungan kung hindi na ito nagpaparamdam?

She was no longer staying at the condo, but Ayder has her number. He would've called if he wanted. Gustong-gusto na nga niya itong tawagan pero pinigilan niya ang sarili.

"What are you doing here?"

Napalunok siya nang marinig ang boses ni Ayder mula sa likuran niya. She automatically stopped and turned around. Her heart beats raced. Dumaan lang naman siya sa VLF Building baka sakaling makita si Ginang Marlene. Gusto niyang magtanong kung ano ba talaga ang napagdaanan ni Ayder habang lumalaki kaya ito nagka-trauma. Paalis na sana siya.

"N-padaan lang," nauutal niyang sagot. Ayder nodded. He was in his usal stance. Mukhang mabait at kagalang-galang na parang walang itinatago sa katauhan.

"Can we talk?" he asked.

"At the coffee shop," he added almost immediately pointing the café on the adjacent building. She pursed her lips and nodded. Magkasunod silang naglakad patungo sa coffee shop.

Tahimik nilang inokupa ang bakanteng mesa sa gilid. Ayder ordered caramel macchiato for them both.

Muli silang natahimik nang umalis ang waiter. Ayder was looking sideways. Ang mga daliri nito ay marahang tumitipa sa table. Para itong tumutugtog ng piano na siya lang ang nakaririnig.

Huminga siya nang malalim nang tumingin ito sa kanya at magtama ang mga mata nila. Tumitig ito sa kanya at napatikhim.

"I'm sorry for what had happened," he said. His eyes spoke of sincerity. Naghintay ito ng sagot niya.

"It wasn't okay but who am I not to forgive?" mahina niyang tugon. Ayder pursed his lips and slowly nodded.

"Puwede ko bang malaman kung bakit mo ginawa iyon," tanong niya rito. 'I wanted it, too. You didn't have to force me,' her mind added but she chose not to utter it.

Ayder shook his head, but didn't say a word.

"Ayder, I want to help," she said boldly. Inabot niya ang kamay nito pero inilihis ito ng binata. Ngumiti ito nang mapait.

"Are you scared that you might hurt me again?" she asked. Ayder shook his head.

"There is no way you can help me," he uttered. Huminga siya nang malalim. Nagulat siya nang bigla na lamang itong tumayo.

"I have to go," he said and left without looking back. She was left wondering what he meant. Did he find himself hopeless? It shouldn't be.

*****

Halos isang linggo na siyang walang balita kay Ayder. Ilang beses na siyang dumadaan sa VLF building pero hindi niya ito natiyempuhan ni minsan.

She was on her way home when Desiry called her up. Ilang araw na raw na hindi pumapasok sa VLF si Ayder. He was in one of the pentsuite of their hotel. Ayaw raw makipag-usap sa kahit kanino.

Desiry ushered her towards the suite.

"Bro, you have a visitor," she announced when they went in. Napasulyap si Ayder sa kinaroroonan nila. He was wearing beige shorts and white shirt. Mukha naman itong maayos. He was sitting at the couch facing a huge monitor. Pinatay nito ang pinapanood nang makalapit sila.

"Iwanan ko na muna kayo," sabi ni Desiry nang makaupo siya sa tabi ni Ayder. Hindi siya makaramdam ng kahit na anong takot na sila lang ang naiwan sa loob sa kabila ng ginawa nito sa kanya.