Chapter 1 [ Virgil ]

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Art by ghosttb0y on Tumblr

Third Person POV

Mornings are peaceful, and this one is no different. The sun hasn't risen yet, people and animals are still in their dream fantasies. For one person, though, it was more of a nightmare. All eyes are on him, laughters fill the room, hands are trying to reach him, he feels trapped, he can't escape them, he's at their mercy. As they reached him, the young man woke up, screaming until there's no more air in his lungs. Then, he starts to breath loudly, progressively realizing where he was, that it wasn't real, that it was just a dream. The panic he was feeling on the other hand, that was very real. It took him some time to calm down, hyperventilating until exhaustion. And now comes the aftermath, when the dark thoughts slip through. He can never be free, his anxiety following him even in his dream. He's tired, but not just because of lack of sleep. His torment never stops. 

The tired man looked at his alarm clock and sighed. He had plenty of time to sleep before his alarm goes off, but he knew that he wouldn't be able to go back into Morpheus' arms even if he tried. It became sort of habit. He lazily got up and exited his door into the dark hall. The whole house was in darkness. He turned up the lights, to see his path, but also to ease his fears of the unseen. He knew that the lights wouldn't wake up anyone. His mother and he had this house for them alone, and she still was working, her night shift hadn't ended yet. So he could be as loud as he wanted. His screams has never been heard. He's not even sure if his mother has picked up on his anxiety yet. They see each other so rarely. 

The man arrived at the bathroom and closed the door. Even if he knew he was alone in the house, he wanted to stay cautious. What if...? He splashed some water on his face and then looked at himself in the mirror, thoughtful. Here is Virgil Black, ladies, gentlemen and non-binary pals, he thought to himself. His bangs were now wet, sloppily falling on his forehead. His skin was white, really white. He looked sick, his skin making the dark circles under his eyes shine on his face. They were so deep under his eyes, he thought he could compete with a racoon. He hated his face. There was nothing special about it. He had a regular nose, regular brown eyes... Nothing was standing out, he just looked bland. He sighed again and picked up his eyeliner. Like every other morning, he tried to draw a perfect line under his eyes, but his hands wouldn't stop shaking, his anxiety never giving up. As he looked at himself in the mirror another time, he could only witness how ridiculous he looked. A toddler would've drawn straighter lines. Frustrated, he smudged his eyeliner under his eyes, like he usually does. He thought that like that, it at least covered partially the dark circles under his eyes. It also added to his dark persona. He found out it was the best way to keep the bullies away. If they're scared of you, they won't come close and see that you're the one scared

As he exited the bathroom, he noted that it was still too early to go to school, but he went anyway. It's not that he can't wait to go there, but if he goes early, he won't come across anyone, and that pleasing his anxiety. After making sure three times that he locked the door behind him, he started walking, slowly. The sun had only now started to rise. He sighed for a third time this morning. His anxiety was controlling his life. Everything he did, he did it to avoid triggering his anxiety. He was avoiding every single aspect of his life. This was just an example. Going to school earlier, taking unpopular courses, leaving class 10 minutes before it ended even if the teacher was still talking, eating alone outside in a secret spot far away... Those were many examples, and why he had no friends. He was starting to think about consulting a professional. If only he had the courage to take his phone and call a therapist...

As he was lost in his thoughts, he wasn't paying attention to his surroundings. He stumbled across a rock. He lost his balance and fell off the sidewalk. He let out a whimper as he scratched his legs, but nothing serious. He wanted to get up, but he soon saw a car coming his way. It was close, very close. The driver was obviously driving above the speed limit. He wouldn't be able to break enough to not hit Virgil, and he knew that. Flee or flight instinct? More like freezing up like a deer blinded by a car light. He closed his eyes, putting his hands in front of him as if it would protect him.

He then felt a weight on him. For a moment, he asked himself if it was it, but then he wondered why it wasn't more painful, considering that it was a car and he was a human. He came back to his senses when he heard the car's honk going away in the distance. He opened his eyes and saw that he was back on the sidewalk, on his back, with a man on him. The man was breathing heavily. Virgil than understood what had happened. The man had saved him. He must've seen him on the other side of the road and rushed to push him out of the way of the car. Still shaken, Virgil couldn't move, he could only examine the man on him. He seemed to be the same age as him, he had a tanned skin, beautiful brown eyes, messy brown hair, probably because he just rushed to save him, but what kept Virgil's attention was his red and white attire. The man was wearing a suit that seemed directly out of a Disney movie. He looked like a prince, a real life prince.

It took the man some time to catch his breath, but when he did, he finally moved from Virgil. He got up and offered to Virgil a hand.

- Hey, are you alright?

Virgil couldn't speak, his tongue didn't seem to want to cooperate. The darkly dressed man took the hand and got up with the help of the mysterious man. The man seemed a little embarrassed by the lack of response. Awkwardly, he tried to dust their clothes.

- Ah man... If I knew I would save someone today, I wouldn't have put my costume on... Hope I'll be able to wash this before the show!... White and dirt don't go well together, haha.

The man laughed nervously as the other man still didn't say anything. Virgil couldn't help but stare at the man. His savior scratched his neck, nervously. He then looked at his watch and realized what time it was.

- Oh shoot, I must hurry... Erm, you don't seem to have really bad injuries, so if you don't need anything... I'll go, okay?

Slowly, Virgil nodded. The man then turned around and started to walk away. But as he did, Virgil finally managed to emit a sound.

- HEY!

The mysterious man turned, looking at him with a confused stare. Virgil took a deep breath and then spoke again.

- Thank you.

His voice was soft and it made the man smile tenderly.

- It was a pleasure, dear!

And then he walked away. This time, Virgil let him go. But there was something different. Something had changed with Virgil. It took him some time to realize that, for once in his life, he wasn't feeling anxious. For a moment, because of that man, it had disappeared. Maybe he didn't need a therapist, maybe there was another way to treat his disorder. He loved the new sensation that had grown in his chest. It was warm, it felt great, but he couldn't say what it was. All he knew was that he needed to get this sensation again, at all cost.

1375 words

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