Silence of The Cry's

03

I pick up my phone. All my friends had made plans to go to the movies, I told them I wouldn't go, because well, I'm just done. it wouldn't matter. Just like me.

It rings 5 times, and then I get, "Hi! This is Stacey, leave me a message!"

I wait for the beep anxiously, it seems to take so much longer. "Hey Stacey. It's me. So, I just have to tell you one thing, and I really need you to play this for the rest of the group, so please put me on speaker and call everyone over.." I pause, acting like she is listening to my instructions. I sigh deeply, and then speak again. "Hey guys, so, I just want you to know I love you all. Everyone of you. You put the fight in me. Jennifer, you are the most beautiful girl I have ever seen, and I hope guys drop dead for you. Your soul is pure and caring, I'm going to miss that. Emma, your beautiful, your mind is so complicated, and you'll one day find a guy who can challenge you. Your sweet and helpful and a problem solver in almost every situation. Lena, you are the funniest person I have ever met in my entire life, you bring light into everyone's world, and you reminded me what it felt like to be happy. I am so grateful for that. Mitchell, you are always my safety net, my shoulder to cry on when I don't have anyone else, and you were there for me. thank you. And Stacey," I say as I inhale a sharp breath, years already falling down my red cheeks, onto my bare legs. "Stacey, you are the bestest friend anyone could ever ask for. Yo-you bring light to all situations and your so beautiful. God, and I'm so sorry to all of you, because now, the fight is over. The devil has won. I love you. and I'm so sorry, but I'm done. I'm done with it all. Because did it ever really matter? Did I? No. So this is goodbye, and I know that your saying goodbye too."

With that, I hang up, losing my mind. I throw on some sweats, and then I grab my keys.

I stop about a mile away from my final destination, worried someone might see it. I get out and I walk, carefully quite. When I get to the bridge,I go down on my knees, my hands seeming to be glued to my face. I take them off and I pray.

"Dear lord, I use to believe in you, but recently I had lost hope. I still prayed at the dinner table and at night before I went to sleep, but I was pretty sure you weren't paying attention to me. I mean I'm sure you had bigger problems to deal with them mine, and I get that, and I would never hate you. But when someone hits rock bottom, their suppose to get back up, maybe not right away, but soon enough. God, I've been at Rock bottom since I was 5. Hasn't it been long enough for you? And please, please, please God forgive me for my up coming sin, but I wish to die. In the lords name we pray, Amen."

I stand up and I whip my eyes, and I look over the edge. I look around, and then I climb on the thick edge.

"Goodbye."

I feel myself falling, the wind blowing my arms up, like it will stop me. And then suddenly, my back hits the rocks, the pain of it all is almost to much for me, but I do what any person would do, I inhale. And I almost choked on it, but I keep inhaling, and inhaling.

And then suddenly, it doesn't hurt anymore, my lungs aren't bursting my headache is gone, and it's nice and quite, and so, maybe as a ghost, or a spirit or a demon, I close my eyes, and exhale.