Sing Me To Sleep

Wonder

               A/N: I'm about to get slightly theological right now, so sorry in advance. If you don't like that kind of thing just don't read this one. Also, it's another one that's very loosely based off of it's source material, since the song is short with very few lyrics. Hope you like it anyway!

         We're lying in bed. The room smells like the tea sitting on our nightstand, and steam is floating hazily across the bed, brushing over your face with its soft fingers. I wish I could stay like this forever. You're giving me that look I love, like you couldn't stop looking at me even if you wanted to. Your fingers reach out, tenderly brushing some hair behind my ear, and your warm brown eyes seem to sparkle. "You're beautiful." You whisper into my ear, and even though I don't quite believe you, I can't help smiling.

                Your finger brushes gently over my lips, then you lean down and lazily kiss my cheek, my chin, the corner of my lip, then my lips. You pull away and we're both smiling and then we're laughing and I don't know why. We kiss again, and you crawl over, leaning over me as your lips move against mine. The room disappears and it's just you here. I'm not smiling so much anymore and I wonder vaguely if this is what being high must feel like, this euphoria. I think I finally understand the appeal of drugs.

                You pull away, look down at me, your fingers running gently along my jaw line, down my neck, a smirk playing across your mouth. Your lips brush along my neck. "I love you." You murmur, and I don't say it back, but I think you know just by looking at me that I feel it.

                Instead I ask, "Do you believe in God?"

        Your smirk falls a bit, just enough to be noticeable. "Right now? Maybe. Normally? I wonder." You say simply, then your lips fall back to my neck, and I know you're just trying to distract me. It's hard to be even vaguely annoyed at you, though.

        "Come on. I'm serious." I press. 

        You sigh against my neck. "Oh, come on. Do we have to talk about this right now?" 

        "I just want to know." 

        You lift your head to look at me, smirking again, and I hate that I love it. Your lips move down to my collarbone, successfully distracting me. "You do realize I'm a bit busy now, right?" You mutter. 

        I move away, despite your hand gently gripping my waist, trying to get me to stay. I make a face at you, and you roll your eyes. 

        "Okay. Fine. I'm not sure about God. Maybe if I could see him I'd believe it. I'm not much for blind faith. I mean, he supposedly molds us out of clay or whatever and we can't even see the dude? Seems a bit unlikely." You pause, and your voice takes on a slight edge, anger filling the undertone of your voice. "And you would think if he really wanted to help us, God would appear or something. If he cared. Instead he just cuts us under. He's never really here when you need him." 

         "Maybe, if there is a God, he just wants us to figure things out on our own. Make our own mistakes." I murmur. 

        "Then what the fuck is the point of his existence at all? His job isn't to sit idly by while innocent people suffer, is it?" You ask, voice biting. 

        I wish I wouldn't have pressed the topic now, but I add, "People have free will for a reason, right? And maybe blind belief is all we really have. Maybe we have to pray just to make it through the day. To make us feel like He's there, the thunder going under us. Keeping us going. Maybe that's the only way people can live." 

        You snort. "I don't need blind faith." You look at me. "Why does it matter anyway?" You ask, leaning over, lips nearly against mine. "We're here now, right? The way I see it we have right now. And hopefully we have the next day." Your lips gently kiss mine. "And the day after that. And a lifetime of days. I say we live in the moment. Why worry about a God who may or may not exist when we exist now?" Your lips move along my jaw. "You're my thunder right now. You're all I need to know exists for the moment. Anything else can wait until later." 

        I smile once again, leaning into you. "Is that your eloquent, theological way of saying you want to make out some more?" I ask as my lips graze your neck. 

        I can feel rather than hear your laugh. "Maybe." You whisper.                       

        I drag my lips along your ear, your chin, your jaw, your cheeks; a parody of earlier. "I'm okay with that." I murmur. "I think you're right anyway. We have right now. We have the present. All the rest of that shit can wait until later, can't it?" 

        You nod, your signature smirk back. I lean up and kiss your lips, my fingers tugging gently through your hair, your hands lightly touching my waist, pulling me closer. Our hazy kisses grow more intense and I am glad the moment doesn't end. We are here, I remind myself. This is real. You're right.

    This is the only proof of God I need.