life is nothing but the lowest of lows and recovering from huge setbacks, but this right here; it makes it all seem distant. there is no pain against your skin. when people say love hurts they could have never been so wrong. love is fluid and solid...
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as a little girl aaliyah believed she was a princess. beautiful and loved by everyone who'd been in her presence, but now she was different. she was now locked away in this giant castle waiting for her knight to come wisp her away to her forever.
she beat the birds up that morning almost like she'd been snatched from her sheets. even though she was wide awake she kept her full lashes sealed, trying to count her breathing. she didn't know how long she laid there counting until she couldn't help herself anymore. so she paced back and forth dancing around her room to the rhythm of her heart beat. thud thud thud. step step step.
"babygirl" her mother hummed from the outside of her door the sound of her knuckles bringing aaliyah back to reality. lately, it seemed as if she was just out of it. her body was all there; real and existing - she was more aware of it all of a sudden.
"yes?" she peeled her bedroom door open and stepped aside to let her inside.
"oh no i won't be long dear" she adjusted the hair that fell in front of aaliyah's face behind her ear, laying her hand end on her shoulder in sympathy.
"oh. work?" aaliyah blurted already sure of the direction of this conversation.
"yes of course" she waved the hand that wasn't caressing her seed dismissively, "how's that school work coming?"
aaliyah fought the urge to roll her eyes so in return she held her breath for a split second too long.
"finished ma'am" she give an honest enough smile.
"good. i'm sure you aren't too happy with how things are going right now" she looked past her, "but it's - things can get so twisted"
"i know you guys don't think it's safe, but-"
"you know it's not best to question me, babygirl" she placed a finger under her chin and tilted it until their eyes were level "you should be so grateful for the life we fund.. for those mall trips"
with aaliyah's silence she continued.
"you are becoming a woman. apart of adulthood is accepting things as they are and making the best with it. once you realize everything ain't so flashy you're a real woman" she kissed her forehead and cleared her throat as she stepped away from her child.
"i'll be home soon" with one final squeeze of the shoulder and scowl she disappeared for however long this trip would take. days? weeks? aaliyah usually could careless what business her parents took part in, but now it only added to ferris wheel that turned all bright and loud in her brain. the landline near her bed sounded, but it took her a few seconds to hear it slipping into her own little world so easily.
