Taking the Risk

31-Bright Blond Boy-Jesse

Strange. A memory...

"You know you don't have to do this to yourself. You've been working extra hours for forever Mom. You're going to tire yourself out. And besides, Dad's job is stable enough to support all of us." I plopped myself down on the sofa and watched as my mother removed her jacket, hanging her back on a nearby hook.

"Why hello to you to Jesse." She laughed, the exhaustion clear on her face. "It's not that I don't know that, but you know, I can't just sit around all day and have Dad do all the work now can I?"

"I guess," I replied, shrugging, "but you don't have to work super late all the time. I barely see you around anymore."

She took a seat next to me, kissing me gently on the forehead. I was struck with a strong sense of pain, of longing.

"I'm sorry. I'll always make time for you, you know that right?"

I was silent, burying myself in her shoulder.

"There are other reasons too, not just for the money." Her eyes glinted with something I couldn't quite tell. "We live in such a big world. There are so many people here, so many less fortunate than us. I'm just doing my part to help others in need. And after all, I've got to set an example for my daughter."

I cracked a small smile.

"I'm sorry."

"Why are you apologizing sweetheart? I'm the one who should apologize to you.

"Hey, what do you say about taking the day off tomorrow? Just us girls. Call it a ditch day."

I laughed, shaking my head.

"Are you really encouraging me to ditch school? What about you setting an example?"

She rolled her eyes.

"Oh, that's in the past now."

"But what about Dad? He's the one who practically wants me to be perfect." I sighed, folding my arms across my chest. "Missing school will dent my attendance."

"Your father..." she let out a breath, chuckling, "he only wants the best for you. But sometimes I can't always agree with him. No one is, and no one can become, perfect. To become perfect is an insult to the way we were built."

Wise words.

"So...ditch day?"

"Ditch day."

I guess I can pinpoint where I got my rebellious side from.

Booke was staring at me, as if waiting for my response. How long was I lost in my thoughts? God, that's embarrassing.

"Why do you want to apologize?" I asked, slowly, cautiously. This didn't make sense to me. He's been the nice one, and now he feels obligated to apologize? I couldn't figure him out.

"I just..." he stopped for a second, as if preparing himself for what he was going to say. "I really did ruin everything. I said this before, but I really didn't mean for things to escalate this far. For that, I'm sorry. You were just doing what you were doing and I interfered."

"You don't have to apologize." I replied steadily. God, why was this making me feel worse?

"No, I really do." He insisted persistently. "It's my fault anyways. I even made things worse when I was trying to help.

"Speaking of...I couldn't get my mind off it. If you don't mind me asking, why did you want to get expelled in the first place?" The way he said it was slow and cautious, thinking before speaking. I turned away.

"You don't have to answer," he added quickly, "if it's personal, I won't pry. I was just curious."

"My father..." I answered quietly against my will, spilling the least bit of hatred going along with it.

"What?"

"My...father." I repeated, louder this time. "I wanted to get expelled because of him."

A look of puzzlement crossed his face, I couldn't blame him. I hesitated on telling him more. Was I just about to tell him about my life like it was nothing? Someone who I barely even knew? With no repercussions?

And just like that, my walls went higher.

Maybe I shouldn't have come. I felt so naive, so vulnerable. I didn't know who to trust and how I could tell. He seemed to get me to talk so easily. A thought popped into my head telling me this was some sort of elaborate scheme to get info about me.

I know. Booke wasn't like that. But it's easy to pretend. It was easy to play along and fake it. I knew that much.

"My father cares deeply for image. Status. Reputation. The mere thought of his only child, his daughter, getting expelled would be disastrous for him." I attempted to keep my tone from going bitter but seemed to fail on the spot. "I found out a few years ago that he was paying the school to keep me from getting expelled."

His eyes widened slightly at that, his hand frozen around his drink.

"He was paying the school?" I nodded at his disbelief.

"That's when I got angry. The fact that he didn't trust me enough to not get expelled and the fact that he only did it for his reputation disgusted me. No matter what I did or said he brushed it off like it was nothing. I wanted revenge. Ever since then I've been trying my hardest to get in trouble. All I got in return were detentions and small punishments. That was until you came along."

He was silent at that.

"I came so close. He was on the verge of doing it, I swear. But then...you know the rest."

"Are you angry with me?" I looked at him. His hands were trembling, teeth biting part of his lip. I just sighed.

"Yes-no. Maybe, I don't know, I'm just..." I shut my eyes and rubbed my forehead, "frustrated."

The word bit off more than it could chew.

We both paused. I stared at the unfinished muffin on the table, unable to eat anymore.

"You said you wanted revenge on your dad." Booke spoke up suddenly. "But what about you?"

"What about me?"

"I mean, would you really risk your life to ruin someone else's?"

That struck a different kind of hard. It struck unexpectedly. It struck me in a way that pulled me off course, dragging me away from the path in front of me. I gripped onto overthinking and logic.

"You were willing to get expelled, to just throw away your life's education just to get back at your dad? I know it's really none of my business, but I don't think that would make you happy. I know it wouldn't." He sounded so sure of himself, so confident. Not an inch of doubt.

"What's the real reason you invited me here Booke?" I asked, dodging his advice if only for a moment. He fidgeted in his seat.

"It's not the only reason, but I wasn't lying earlier when I said I wanted to start over. I was thinking we push all this behind us. Not to forget it, but to move past it." He held out his hand, arm outstretched towards me. "I want to start on the right foot this time. No regrets."

He gave me another sheepish smile.

"Lukas Booke, it's nice to meet you."

Lol I'm sorry this is so late, I almost forgot to post today. Hopefully this chapter was alright, it was mostly dialogue and I get paranoid about my writing a lot

Aaanyways, today was my last day of break, and tomorrow I have school :') wish me luck peeps! See you later!