3 weeks of seeing Bianca.. we shared a lot about ourselves we were happy but I wasn't sure if we were dating or just friends. But I'm sure it's not 1 sided.
Today, I'm meeting her on her work. She looked sad.
She went in the staff's room which means she's taking the trash. I had the urge to go to the back of the cafe. I saw her crying.
I came to her. I was in a panic and just... hugged her.
I can feel her sobs and hear her cry. I wanted to know the reason why she's crying but I didn't want her to tell me while she's crying.
I looked in her eyes.
She was crying.
She was looking at me. So I just kissed her.
For about 4 seconds she pushed me.
"No.. no attachments." She said.
"Sorry.. I didn't mean to be rude." I said.
"Sorry... I'm going back to work."she said.
She went back in and I... I was embarrassed but I stayed in the cafe.
She came to me after her work and told me that she has to go somewhere really far.
"Why exactly are you saying this to me." I asked.
"Because I like you." She said.
"No jokes? Nothing?" I said.
"No jokes. I've been really thinking about you."she said.
She then went home. I went back to my apartment. I still tried to kill myself but it's not working anymore.. I.. I just want to live.
Next day I didn't see her in her work.
For 3 days.. she wasn't on her work so I asked her workmates. They said she left the job for her friend. She wasn't answering my calls as well.
I was worried.
I performed on stage and active on social media. I did my job. Went to New York for a new project. I was busy. Then my sister sprained her ankle so I had to go back to check on her.
Everything is weird.its like Bianca changed me. On my way to the hospital I saw bianca wearing a hospital gown with wires on her hands and below her nose. She was kicking the snack machine.
I kicked the machine harder than she did. She then looked at me. She got shocked and tried to walk away.
Her eyes were teary.
I hugged her. "Why did you not tell me?" I said, hugging her tightly.
"Why did I met you?" She said.
I stopped hugging her and faced her.
"You.. you were going to kill yourself when I met you. Why did I stopped you?" She said.
I.. I'm confused..
"I'm going to die. And I just started loving you." She said.
There it is again. I was triggered but I want to be with her.
I then knew she had cancer. Leukemia.
"I'll be with you the whole time. I'll leave my job for now. I'll stay with you." I said.
"You are a fragile person. If I die, I don't wanna see you too soon." She said.
"I won't.." the hesitation from my voice made her look at me in a ridiculous face again.
"Promise me." She said.
"Okay.. promise." I said.
"Let's start with my chemo therapy." She said.
