- And Then There Were Stars by witchesdontburn -
Cover/Blurb: Your cover seems pretty accurate and very appropriate for the story and the tale it tells! I would caution that your picture doesn't look anything like either of your main characters, but other than that, it's a cute and sweet cover and I definitely liked it. Your name on it is a bit hard to read, just a note.
As far as your blurb, it's short and sweet and tells you exactly what you're getting out of the story, and it definitely told me that your grammar was going to be on point, which is always bonus points in my book.
What I Liked: I picked this up expecting a short little love story, and that may have been what I got, but it was so much more.
I'm not usually one for LGBT romance, I will state that up front. Reading this, though, it didn't matter to me. This was done so, so well. The little reveals, the steady climb, the portrayal of the infatuation, it was all so perfectly placed.
You developed the characters incredibly well, which can be a challenge in short stories but it was paced very neatly and appropriately. The pacing in general was well set, I was concerned about rushing going in but you stayed away from that and it all felt very smooth. Additionally, I loved the contrast in Lola's complete confidence versus how Sam can't decide how to manage herself and her feelings outside of her camera. And speaking of, the camera was a very neat little plot device to push the story!
Description control was fairly strong, I didn't catch any major infodumping or blank spots anywhere, so kudos for that. I could see enough of the environment to know where they were and how the world looked, and Sam and Lola were both very clear in my mind.
Also??? This is personal but seriously the fuck? Give me more! I wish it wasn't so short, I want more of their story! You can't leave me with Sam's decision just like that!
This book stole my heart after one read. Well done.
What I Did Not Like: You have some grammatical errors, mainly run-on sentences, and occasionally some punctuation errors were in there, too. I recommend just a quick run through it on Grammarly or Word so you can fix those up! The run-on can sometimes be a stylistic choice, but it also becomes too much if overused. It starts to detract from your writing, coming across less as stream of consciousness and more of just messy rambling over time. Clean it up a little, and the whole thing reads like a dream.
I was also confused by the POV change in the final chapter. Was it necessary to have it in first person instead of third person? If not, changing it back to third person would improve the flow of the story through the end.
Overall Conclusion: Beautiful story, masterfully written, exceptional control over the content. Most definitely worth reading. Neaten it up a little bit and shorten some of the rambling sentences and you'll have an amazing final product!
Final Rating: 8/10. Read this book! It's worth it! A fantastic short story of high school love that touches on deeper topics with just the right note to avoid overwhelming the story. I wish I could have more of Sam and Lola.
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Note: I'm catching up on all my reviews, so stay tuned!
