Looking to Lose (completed)

*6*

It's been a week since I've set my summer goal, but I'm no closer to achieving it. I've been working like a dog every day. By the time I'm done work, I'm exhausted, and my patience is worn so thin I'm afraid if I have any other human interaction I'll snap. Working with Aaron everyday has become my new definition of hell. He's just so difficult and knows just what buttons to press – all the wrong ones.

But today is Thursday. And I love Thursdays – they're my favorite day. Sure, Fridays and the weekend are great, but the anticipation of the weekend that comes on Thursday is so satisfying. I pick out a white corduroy dress from my closet – one of those that looks like short overalls but is actually a dress – and wear a blue Books & Co. tee under it. I tie back my hair with a thick ribbon, the same sky blue as my shirt.

I grab the box of chocolate chip cookies my mom made last night and skip out of the house. My boy sense is heightened today, thrown into overdrive when a pretty guy on the trolley winks at me when he catches me smiling to myself. My smile widens. Happy happy happy.

"Hey there Smiles," I say in greeting to Aaron; not even he can freeze my good mood today.

"Don't call me that," he replies icily – per usual.

"Good morning to you too," I laugh. I plug my phone into the speaker system and flip on my Summer Tunes playlist, then stack my mom's cookies in the glass display case.

"The weather cold
The weather so
Chill, chilly really penguin feather roll
Cause I'm sipping Pro'
Yeah that 'meth is pro'
Promethazine, yeah a stepping stone"

Aaron stops pulling books out of a box and stares at me. I'm dancing around the shop, pretending A$AP Rocky is here, rapping and singing along to the song. With laughter in my eyes, I strut over to Aaron and dance around him.

"I need you,

I want you!"

He rolls his eyes – a dramatic reaction for a man like Aaron – and tries to escape my dance circle. Not today silly boy. I grab his hands and spin, acting like he's the one that just spun me.

"But you should see the way she dance on me,

Yeah, wishing I had no pants on me"

He just stares at me, his expression not pissed or annoyed or grim or angry. Actually, I have no idea what he's feeling, what he's thinking. He's entirely unreadable.

"You call this music?" Ah, now I know. Disdain. That's the emotion on his face.

As a response I keep singing, letting him go and making my way over to the bar. Grabbing two mugs, I pour out coffee for him and hot chocolate for me. Lord, I must be possessed. Yes, I think, possessed by happiness. I feel happy, and no grumpy, rude boy will take that from me today.

"They should make iced hot chocolate," I muse.

"They do. It's called chocolate milk," he says arrogantly.

"Has anyone ever told you..." that no one likes an annoying smart-ass? Instead, I take a breath and put on a genuine smile, something Aaron hasn't seen from me yet. Something changes in his eyes – they soften, I think? I lean in farther, wanting to see more. "That you have pretty eyes?" I finish. Yes, a compliment! I'm so nice!

"No," he says roughly, and pushes off the counter and away from me, taking his mug with him.

It's a busy day in the shop. Maybe there's some truth in what Ros said about people liking to read when the sun is shining. In the early afternoon, two girls my age walk in, heading straight for the bar. They both have long silky blonde hair, one of them tall and wearing skinny jeans despite the heat, and the other shorter wearing some designer matching shirt and skirt set. Who dresses up to buy a book? Unless... I watch from a crack between Twilight and New Moon as they approach Aaron and a smile spread on my lips.