An Outlaw's Weakness*Fifth in Crane Gang series*

Chapter Two

Chapter Two

"I'm going."

Preston thought his papa's head was going to explode as Jeb paced the room and clenched his jaw. "Why? Why are you so goddamn determined to leave?"

Preston hated knowing he was hurting his parents so badly. Gill was standing quietly with his arms crossed and his eyes full of sadness as he watched his son.

Preston adjusted the sack on his shoulder. "Because I need to live, papa. I need to go out there and do something."

They didn't understand. How could they? They had lived exciting lives full of adventure and now had the rest of their lives to simply settle down and enjoy each other.

Preston didn't have that. He had now. He didn't want to just waste away and die on his parent's ranch without ever experiencing any real adventures of his own.

Jeb threw his hands up. "Do what? Read books in a new place? Get your fool head blown off? What exactly is it that you want to go do so bad?"

Preston winced. He'd never fought with his parents. He didn't want to do it now. But he was determined to go. "I want to be able to have adventures just like you and pa."

With a shake of his head, Jeb stood behind a kitchen chair and gripped it tightly. "Those adventures led to people we loved dying. They led to us nearly dying. Is that what you want?

Preston's thin shoulder rose and fell. "I'm dying either way."

He knew he'd said the wrong thing when every ounce of color drained from Jeb's face. Anger flashed in his green eyes and he opened his mouth only to be silenced when Gill stepped forward.

"Enough Jebidiah."

"Gilliam, don't act so damn calm about this. We've given that boy everything. A family, a home, a good goddamn life, and now he's just gonna throw it all away for what? For adventure? He's gonna end up hurt!"

Preston nearly snapped back. He was angry that his papa was treating him like an ungrateful child. But Gill came between them. "I'm not calm about it, Jeb. That's my son too and I sure as hell don't want to see him going out and getting hurt."

"Then have my back..." Jeb began.

"I always have your back, Jebidiah, you know that."

"What happens when he has another attack and we're not there to help him?" Jeb demanded.

"Nobody can help me," Preston stated bluntly. "When I have an attack, I'll either die or I won't. That's my life now."

"Don't say that!" Jeb snapped. "Is that what you want? To go out there and die alone?"

"Of course I don't want to die!" Preston exclaimed. "But I'm going to. And I want to live before I do!"

"Both of you stop." Gill's authoritative voice warned. "Preston needs to do this. If we stand in his way, it's not gonna change a thing and it'll only lead to hard feelings."

Jeb stood still as a stone for several long moments as he stared hard at Gill. Then, suddenly, it was like every ounce of air and fight left the man at once as his arms fell and his shoulders dropped. He swallowed hard. "I don't wanna lose that boy, Gilliam."

Preston turned his back to give his parent's a bit of privacy as Gill went to Jeb and took his hands in his. "I don't either. But no matter how much we're hurting, he's hurting more. This is his life. He's a nineteen year old man. You remember being nineteen. We've got to let him go so he can find whatever the hell it is he's looking for."

"I hate when you're right."

"You oughta be used to it by now."

There was silence behind him for a moment and then Jeb cleared his throat. "Preston?"

When Preston turned around, Jeb and Gill were standing hand in hand and Preston was happy to see that Jeb's expression was quite a bit softer.

"I love both of you," Preston said, emotion rising in his own throat. "You know that. This family is everything to me and I don't want to leave forever. I just want to get out there and see something... Even I'm not sure what exactly."

"We love you too, Preston," Jeb replied, softly. "I don't like this and I don't want you to go but I won't stand in your way."

Preston nodded. "Thank you."

Gill sighed. "We will at least come into town with you. You need a gun belt that fits proper and you can have my extra revolver. We'll get you some money to take with you and any other supplies you might need."

Preston wanted to insist that he was a grown man and would take care of things himself, but he had a feeling he needed to let his pas do this.

"Are you determined to leave today? Can't we have one last dinner with the family together so you can tell them you're leaving?" Jeb asked.

Preston picked at a tear in his shirt sleeve. "No, I think I just want to go." He didn't want to go through this argument with every person in the family. They would all try to convince him to stay and Preston didn't know if he was strong enough to stand up to all of them.

Hell, he couldn't believe he'd had the strength to stand his ground with his parents.

It appeared that Jeb wanted to say something else but Gill leaned into him and gave him a bit of a nudge. Jeb sighed. "Alright then. Let's saddle some horses and we'll see you off."