12th hunger games{Completed}

Part 9- day/ night 4-8.

Nate-
Her warmth left me that morning. I watched helplessly as the one person I care about get clawed and ripped apart before my eyes. I watched as the light in her eyes left me forever. I watched hopelessly as the cannon boomed through the arena, leaving me. Her smile is all I see, that damn smile haunts me.

I touch absently at her blood that stains my jumpsuit while I stare at Mat who is quivering next to me, lost in some nightmare. I want to wake him up but I also want to be alone. It's selfish but if he holds me now I'll cry. I realize now that to win I have to put on a stoic mask. I have to hide the pain from her death if I want sponcers for Mats wounds. It's the only hope I have at leaving this game for Elise. That's what she would want. 

The sound of the anthem blares through the arena—waking Mat. He catches me starring at him, usually I would be embarrassed but I just avert my eyes, gazing at the sky instead. I know what is to come yet I am thrown off guard nonetheless. Pain stabs at my heart, the image of Elise's distant stare, blue in the sky. Her smile creeping it's way back into my mind. Come back to me. Damn it come back! No matter how many times I scream her name, she isn't coming back. Tears threaten to fall down my cheek, trying to hold it back is becoming more and more challenging. 

I feel Mats arms draping over me like a cape, fear of crying I scream at him to get off. "Damn it just leave me alone!" I force my tears away. Breath. Collecting myself I risk looking back at Mat who is now staring at me with deep concern. He doesn't say anything but he doesn't have to—he's scared for me, sad for me.

"I'm sorry, I just want to be left alone, okay?" He nods his head sympathetically, heading back to bed. My body craves his warmth, but I have to stay strong. I have to.
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It's been 4 days, both Glint and Eden died in those days. I sort through possible ways it could have played out to their murder, how two careers could have died on the same day. Maybe it was a mutt, or some capital trick. Perhaps it was a skilled tribute or the other half of the careers turned on them, though that's unlikely since that hurts them more in the long run. huffing I give up. How they died isn't a concern anymore. Their dead—that's all I need to know.

Between the days we were given a generous amount of sponcers for Mats wounds, sometimes we would be given food. Our stomachs thanked them. Mat recovered quicker than I expected, his fever gone. His wounds barely visible. I couldn't help but smile at his progress.

Mat wakes up, indicating that our day has started. After Elise was killed we moved camps, memories of her lingered there—Thinking moving would help; but she never left. Every little memory of her stabbed at my heart. Her words now taste foreign.

I hadn't noticed Mat was talking to me. "You weren't listening, were you?" His voice obviously disappointed. "I'm sorry about Elise but you have to suck it up. We're in the hunger games, people are going to die. People you love. People you hate. People you don't know. Nate, you can't cry every day! I need you here. I want the old Nate back." He started to yell, progressively his voice cracked and choked. Is he yelling at me? What did I do?

"Why are you yelling at me?"

"Nate, you know what I meant." His hand reaches for me, but I step back.

"No, that's not fair. You don't understand. You didn't loose anyone! You don't know anything about me and Elise." Her name drops my heart to my stomach, and my voice goes quiet again. " it's still new to me."

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have yelled. But you need to come back to me, I can't have you slugging around." His last words hit me like like stain glass. I have become a liability. 

"I miss you." All that effort of reflecting a stoic mask has all gone for waste. Tears trail down my face without rest, my face turning hot. Mat forced me into a tight embrace. My body cold compared to his warmth. I'm now choking on my tears, but he still holds me. His grip tightening around my waist as I breath harder and cry harder—it's becoming difficult to breath.

One of his hands combs through my hair, relaxing me. My breaths steady and become more even. I close my eyes in attempt to stay calm. "I'm sorry." He whispers to me. "I needed it." I whisper back, sounding more like a strangled cry. His lips touch my scalp lightly, as he rests his chin on the spot he kissed. For the first time since she died, I don't think of Elise as Mat comforts me.

Authors note;
Sorry for the short chapter but I miss Elise now :(