Divine Descent

Chapter Twenty-Five

Laid out like an intricate puzzle, the linen tables wrap around the open courtyard with enough drink and substance to last years. We've been seated pride-of-place beside Jehovah. I'm not sure whether it's because we're the honored guests or because he'd like to keep a close eye on us.

Either way, I'm bored out of my mind.

It's all too beautiful. The thousands of bouquets, tall and full, layered with color. The sunlight that warms the skin to the bone. The kind of ambiance that settles the soul, that makes you glad to possess sense. The springy music and intimate dancing... even my fellow gods and goddesses. I didn't belong here before I was a god, and I don't feel I belong here now. And that frightens me... how I've become accustomed to the dark.

My bleak outlook is only heightened by a constant moment of reflection: a conversation with Elijah about Heaven, his uncertainty of what existed beyond death and retribution. From the outlook I see, it's a place of serenity, but also of rules, structure, goodliness.

He knew he was going to die in Rome. He was offering me his father's necklace for safe keeping. I gave that back to him when we were in Cairo, and it felt like a revival...a triumph. His mothers ring is still on my finger, the precious ruby staring at me in the face.

"That's a very beautiful ring," Jehovah says, startling me, leaned close. Samael is in a deep conversation with Amjir, the God of Fire across the table. I'm on my own.

"Thank you."

"It's on your left hand."

I hum, curiously. "Yes, it's..."

"Belongs to a vampire you're acquainted with."

"More than acquainted with."

He smiles, privy to secrets I haven't told him. "Yes, Samael said the man caused quite the deviation."

"From your big plan? Right, the plan where you create me in a betting game." I shift towards him. "Where you make me live out horror after horror so that I'm fashioned to be someone's mistress?"

"You are a goddess, Cassandra. An everlasting being."

"And I suffered for it."

"I wish I could have prevented that."

I am not swayed, not intimidated by his title. God or not, he's failed with me. "Do you?"

"One life for a millennium of light, Cassandra. Even I must make concessions to a deal such as that. Do you know how many lives were spared because you were promised? It was a shift in the carefully fragmented order of the universe that we were both willing to bargain on. It had nothing to do with you, personally."

"Well, I do take it personal. Those people you saved don't like me very much."

"They wouldn't, would they? You represent all that they are afraid of." He clasps my hands, gently. "I apologize for the circumstances you've endured, but you will see that one day, when you've understood that we all have a role in this existence, this hasn't been for nought."

His words mean nothing to me. I don't have it in me to forgive him. "If you say so."

His face oozes kindness, the kindest, most patient face I've ever seen. He begins to pour me a glass of wine. "Tell me, you love this vampire?"

"You're all-knowing, right? Couldn't you tell me yourself?"

"I'd prefer to hear it from you."

Aggravated, I look up at the clear, cloudless sky. "Well, with every day that passes, it feels more doomed. I'm questioning everything."