sad why dont we one shots

hes getting better

He opened his puffy eyes and stared at the ceiling. His throat was aching after all that screaming and begging he used to do before he wasnt completely lost. The dryness in his throat was making the pain double but he wouldn't mind even if it would had gotten worse. Its been a while since he cared or concerned about anything including himself. His head was even heavier than usual caused by oversleeping since he didnt have much to do. A single unshed tear filled his tired eyes and made the ceiling slowly fade away. He couldn't detect the source of that. He wasnt sad. He didnt feel depressed or even frustrated. Actually, he wasnt feeling anything at all. He couldn't remember the last time he had felt anything except emptiness . The only expression he had been shown was glassy hollow eyes with a lack of light in them. The only feeling he had felt was feelinglessness. He wasnt happy but he wasnt sad either. His desires and wishes were all had vanished a long time ago so as his fears and weaknesses. The only thing that had a meaning in his life was the meaninglessness that needed to be filled. He had tried a large variety among his options to fulfill the desire. His only desire that had been eating him from the inside. He turned around and the tear slipped down his face and left an slight ache from the sourness on his cheek. He rose up hesitantly while pressing his palms on his eyes in order to reduce the sharp pain in them. Standing up seemed difficult but had to do it. He couldn't abide sleeping any longer. Hes eyes met the second thing that he wanted and needed to do. His cello that was leaned on the wall along with his narrow bow . The black cello that used to shine brightly had lost his light like his owner for quiet a longtime but it still had that dignity and elegance. He stood up and dragged himself near the cello. His hand reached for the cello while approaching the cello. In order to take the bow the owner kneeled beside his only friend. when he stood up again he grabbed the cellos neck with the other hand and dragged the cello to another side of the room where he could sit in the corner. he sat on the old nearly demolished wooden chair, The only thing that his room was filled with exept the bed and cello itself. As soon as he put the cello between his legs and placed his hand and bow. The dance of his fingers bagan. He started off with his favorite song from his favorite composer. Für Elise by Beethoven. His finger tips were touching the strings gently and his bow was held in the best position while moving swiftly. His performance was flawless due to the uncountable amount of playings he jumped to something way more harder and faster. When his heart beats were raising from all that quick movements. When the sweats were dropping from his forehead. When his cheeks were heating up from the passion. Only then he could fill a bit of satisfaction. Only then he could felt filled. But when he stopped the play, His passion disappeared as well and had left him with even more emptiness. He placed his cello beside tha chair extremely carefully to avoid any other scratch on cellos sides. He stood up and headed in bathrooms direction. After a few unwilling steps he pushed the door and swung it open. He entered the white tiny bathroom and took a glimpse at himself in the mirror. The bags under his eyes were getting deeper and the dark circles were getting larger and darker each day. Hes chins hair haven't been shaped since the last time he tried to fill the emptiness with the tiny razor. He still had its mark on his left wrist. He took the plastic cup which he hated but couldn't do much about it after the replacement to avoid his access to any sharp object and filled it with pouring water in the sink. He turned off the faucets handle and walked out the bathroom. He couldn't remember the last time he has showered but he despised the bathing after his family removed the bathtub after his attempt to drowning himself in it. He dragged his legs to the bed and covered himself with blankets while he was holding his kneels against his stomach. and the tears fell down. He thought about the days that his everyday wasnt a repeat of a boring program. The days that his life was overwhelmed with feelings and meanings. The days that his affords were spent on gathering not losing. The days that his mind wouldn't even wonder about suicide thoughts instead of thinking about the ways his family hadn't blocked yet. Did he miss them? He couldn't even tell. He didnt even know. He wasnt always like this..he used to be a cheerful guy with unrealistic dreams and desires. He was the happiest in his family and friends and even smallest things could made his day. Till the sad truth hit him in the face. The emptiness inside of him overflowed and turn his joy to ashes. He tried every option to fill it. He had done drugs. Got drunk. slept with some bunch of girls and even guys. But everytime he felt more and more lost. Till he reached the final point. What if suicide is an option too.. the few first times were hard. The guilt about the burden that he was leaving on his families shulders after his death couldn't leave him alone along the pain but there was a feeling that overcame all of them and it was satisfaction. So he got used to guilt and did it more and more and the physichologics made his will stronger rather than making him any better. till his parents agreed on the last option. The psychologists suggestion was asylum but they couldn't let anyone know about their childs condition they didnt want to be mucked. Their pride was way more important than that. Right? So they decided to make their own little asylum. They immured him on his own room but before that they removed every object that seemed dangerous. And that included almost everything. They made an small hole under the door to gave him food three times a day and take the dirty dishes back. his mother used to check on him everyday but even that was over the moment he tried to ran when his mother opened the lock. He was ran out of options or..did he?. His eyes were fixed on the cello and that was the moment he realized something. What if it wasn't the end . What if he could combine the two passions in his life together. He rose up and shook his head to fade the dizziness away. He walked pass the chair and grabbed his cello. His fingertips moved trough strings and the tendency overtook him. He dragged the cello behind him as he went beside bed and took a seat at the edge of the unmade bed. Hes fingers moved to the tuning pegs and twisted slowly as he was trying to tune the cello. He continued till he removed one of the strings and grabbed it in his hand. He examined every inch of it. Suddenly his hands werent in his control. He wrapped the string a few times around his neck and grabbed the two ends of it in his sweaty palms. He looked at the locked window. The bars outside of the window were going to be his last picture of the outside of his prison aka room. He turned his head and stared at his cello. A smile formed on his face while remembering all the songs he used to play to pass the neverending time. The unsung songs he used to write but never had the courage to sang. He cleared his throat and started singing the only two parts that he hadn't forgotten yet.
He closed his eyes and started singing with his soft and honey liked voice
Im running and running and running
In a cycle
Im jumping and jumping and jumping
But im still there
Im moving and moving and moving
With no over
Im crying and crying and crying
In a nowhere
He closed his eyes as he finished and bit his lower lips to avoid the sobbing but he couldn't keep the tears and felt the cold sour droplets on his cheeks. He finally felt something after a long time. Sadness. He was feeling. He had feelings. He felt something else. Satisfaction. He opened his eyes and looked at his old friend for the last time and pulled the two sides of the string tightly. Hes eyes widened as the suffocating pain increased in his throat and his skin turned to dark shades of blue and purple. He fell on his knees but didnt stop pulling the string .As the last breathe had breathed and the last tear had left his eyes he looked at his cello with half opened eyes and smiled widly at the blurry vision. He mumbled something under his breath that no one except himself had heard it.
Im filled.
He couldn't omid the fact that how his death will change his little sisters life. The only person in this family who still showed signs of affection for his brother and didn't see him as a burden. He regretted his attempt as his heart beated for the last time cause of his sister but it was to late. The string slipped out of his loose grips and He fell on the ground with an smile as a sign of satisfaction.
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Anna was feeling like she was on the top of the world
Her brother. The most loveable person in her life. The one that she always knew hes there for her. Was finally getting better. He was defeating the disease. He wasnt crying anymore. The screaming had been stopped and he had even sung today . She couldn't believe his brother sang something. He used to sang a lot when anna was a child and they were still happy and gathered together. she was missing it so much but in deep down in her heart she always knew and believed that one day hell get well and those days will come back. She alway had faith in her brother. No matter what he had done. She was talking and arguing all the day with her mother. All she wanted was 15 mins with his brother in his room. She dearly missed him especially now that she knew he was getting better. After a long time crying and making promises and endless warnings, her mother finally agreed and and gave the permission and keys.
She ran toward her brothers room and almost screamed.
Hey Danny im coming to see you. You better have something on dudee
She chuckled at her words and opened the door with no hesitation. she stepped inside the room with a wide smile on her face. Her smile faded away when she couldn't find her brother.
Danny are you in bathroom?
She asked while raising one of her eyebrows. When no answer had come she walked toward the bathroom but gasped after what she had seen on the floor. The keys fell from her hand and she fell on his numb feet with a scream beside her brothers body. His pale skin was paler than ever and his body was cold as ice. He still had that smile. The last time anna saw her brothers smile.