Struggle

Chapter 1.

Madi POV

"Whatcha doing brother?" I walk from my room the kitchen with Oliver in my arms. He squirms around a bit.  "Nothing much, how about you."  "Nothing. "  He nods, then turns to Oliver. "Happy almost birthday Ollie!"He giggles and puts his finger in his mouth. I hate it when he does that. "Here you go baby." I give him his pacifier, he only uses it sometimes. Because he is slowly growing out of his fingers in his mouth .

"You need to stop giving him that."  Jack basically scolds . Since when has he been a father? Never. " No. I just don't want him sucking his fingers, it's not a good habit, remember I did it until I was almost 8. " He nods with a little laugh. " Yeah, mom used to say ' Do we have to give you a pacifier?' " Then his face looks sad. He looks at me. "Yeah, mom ......" I say. Tears forming and pecking at my eyes. "I'm sorry I didn't mean to bring her up." " Everything reminds me of her. Also, it's ok they need to be remembered. "

I kiss Oliver on the forehead and sway back and forwards, he is on my shoulder, grabbing into it with his little hands. He likes being carried like that. Silence helps me stop my tears. As it drags on. " I do have something to do today." He is flipping his water bottle. Biting the inside of his lip. "Yeah..?" I say questioning him. He rolls his eyes before saying. "Annual game night here since I bailed on my turn. "

Every month, him and the guys have game night. Every month by the draw of the random guesser. Which is where you type in names and it picks a random one. Last time it picked Jack was almost a year ago, when I was in labor. He never gets picked, it's either Jonah or Corbyn and sometimes Daniel and rarely Zach.

"I'm taking Oliver from you right now he is too cute." He picks him up and a smile instantly appears on his face. "He is so cute, I wonder how his dad looks, he doesn't have our eyes." I look at eyes, they are a nice color. Not regular brown, his hair is the same as mine and his mouth, but his eyes and nose look different. He looks just like - Uh. " Eyes uh. What color do they look like to you?" "greenish grayish I guess. " I nod. " Yeah.... Only a week until he is a year." I say.

Jack nods and smiles like he is reminiscing. " Yes, I feel like it was just yesterday you were setting up for game night and screamed my name for a half hour because you got up and your water broke. I didn't wake up and you seriously contemplated driving yourself. Then I woke up and ran to the kitchen and I drove you to the hospital, then Ollie was born." I nod and start laughing. " I screamed for a hour actually and yes I did contemplate leaving by myself. You sleep through anything, if there was an earthquake you would just not get up, I would leave you. Anyways but now here is Oliver." 

Jack gasps. His eyes widening in disbelief. " You wouldn't! " He says.
" Yeah I would. I wouldn't waste time trying to wake you. "

" Rude. " " No, I'll just slap you in the face." Then I add, " Bound to wake ya. " He fake looks upset and scared. "I'm going over there now." He fake shudders. Jack sits on the couch and sits Ollie on his lap, he lays against his chest.

I take a picture and post it with the caption 'Uncle Goals'

"So when are you going to do the DNA test thing?" I try to avoid the question at all costs. I already know who the father is. I need to talk about it to him. We need to tell someone. It's hurting me that I've been keeping a secret from my wombmate for almost a whole year. I take a breath before changing the subject, " I have my sobriety group today, can you babysit? I'll be back in an hour or 2 and I'll bring donuts. " He raises his eyebrows and rolls his eyes. Then he nods, "Ok, you know what I want." I look at him. For twins, we don't know anything about eachother. As roommates we are clueless about each other.

"Do you even want a donut?" "Yeah. " "Ok so I'm guessing you just want a regular one." He nods . Smiling like he won an award. "Yeah, you know me so well sister! " "Ok, boring brother. " He rolls his eyes. "Nice." I get my keys and walk out the door to drive downtown.