Your Child Can Be Successful

Fear

Everyone in the world definitely fears something or the other but the most amazing thing is that people are usually indulge themselves in fictitious fears instead of actual ones. Experts say that 99% of our concerns are meaningless while 1% are real but are not harmful. When a human comes to the world, he gets two kinds of fears from nature:

1. Fear of a loud sound and

2. Fear of falling from a height

But with the passage of time, he adopts thousands of meaningless fears. A fearful child's capabilities become faded. All his mental energies are spent on fears. Therefore, his thinking is not positive and optimistic.

Generally, one of the main reasons for finding fear in a child is because he has been made to fear djinns and demons during his childhood and then this fear becomes part of his personality for the rest of his life. Never forget the principle that unnecessary fear destroys a child's psychology.

"A sensible person is the one who shies away from sin merely for the fear of God and not for the fear of people and worships Him with the earnest desire of his heart." – Ibn Sina

We should have hope in Allah because Allah is the best support. A practical example needs to be presented to the child to make him understand this concept. Instill the fear of Allah in him. This way all fears will cease to exist. Teach him how merciful Allah is.

Some parents think that there is a problem with children who are scared, or they didn't do a good job bringing them up. The reality is that fear takes different forms in specific ages or stages of a child. If a child fears certain things at certain stages of his life, then this should not be a reason to be concerned. On the contrary, you should be at ease because these are natural stages. In our society, parents' reactions can be very strange, therefore, when a child starts having nightmares, they say it is because of demons, djinns and witches. At times, they even believe that someone has cast a magic spell on the child. These are signs of a weak Iman (faith). This could also result in a child having less faith in Allah and would go about in life fostering unlimited fears.

According to renowned psychologist, Paul Hauck, keep the following in mind when dealing with fear:

1. Never make the child a target of ridicule or call him a "coward". This spoils the self-concept and this way he will spend the rest of his life being scared.

2. Don't compel a child to hide fear. If you make fun of a child who is afraid, he will hide his fear and hiding it is not a reasonable way of dealing with it.

3. Don't put your child in those tasks, one after the other, which he fears since this would pressurize the child and his fear will persist. Don't be hasty in making the child courageous since learning comes with time.

4. Remember, children need the most support when they are either scared or when they are unsuccessful. Never leave a child to deal with fear on his own. Support and encourage him.

5. Relate stories to them about successes of people who conquered their fears and failures and made a name for themselves. This way they tend to be convinced that failure is not the end of the world.

6. Anything that has been learned can also be unlearned (forgotten). Since a child has learned to be scared/fearful, therefore, if he is told the reality, backed by solid evidence, then, his fear can be eliminated.

7. If a child is scared/afraid of doing something, then, let him face it instead of avoiding it. This will automatically eliminate the fear.

Children don't listen to us. They don't understand what we say to them nor do they understand what we want them to. Why does this happen? This is because...