To Call My Own

Chapter Ten

"Mila, I am so sorry. I had no idea that was going to happen." Piper said, pleading for my forgiveness.

It was Thursday afternoon and Piper had finally decided to confront me about the incident that took place on Monday. But truthfully, I had a hard time listening to the words she was telling me. She was putting on the apology very thick, too thick. I knew that the entire ordeal wasn't her fault, but I still had a bitter taste towards both of them in my mouth.

"Listen, I've given her another chance. Now can we please just leave it alone. It's clear she doesn't want to see me either." I stated, keeping my tone hard and even. I didn't want to leak any hint of my emotion out.

Because in reality, I went home and cried for about two hours on Monday evening. For a split second there, I thought things might have changed. There was a tiny part of me that almost missed her, and I thought that brave feeling might have been returned. But as it turned out, my hopes were dampened.

"You're right, lets just leave it at that."She said, then took a bite of the salad laying our in front of her on the lunch table. "Okay, so new topic. What's up with you and West? I mean I haven't even met the guy..."

"West and I are really good friends." I replied. I didn't need to fill her in on every single detail of my life, my friendship with West was one that I wanted to keep private.

"You know I'd like to meet him." She stated her big brown eyes pleading with my green ones. " In fact, I'm sure you're coming to the game tomorrow, you to should come out with Logan and I after the game."

"Do you really think that's a good idea? I mean, they're rivals?" I inquired, just trying to brush the entire topic off. She rolled her eyes at my reasoning.

"Mila, don't you think Logan and West are mature enough to talk without their tensions getting in the way?" She questioned. I knew it was true of West, but I didn't want to admit it her face. "Just talk to him and let me know, okay?"

I just gave her a silent nod of agreement, knowing there was no way out of doing whatever she wanted me to do. That was the one thing that I wanted to change about myself. I was just a yes man for Piper. I wanted to be able to stand up for myself. It all sounded good and well in my head, but in real life everything was completely different.

My ideal version of myself and who I really was; were two different girls. In my head, I was smooth and confident. In reality I was awkward and lacking in self confidence. I never stood up for myself. Piper knew that. Sometimes I just felt like an extra part of her. I simply did what she wanted, and acted how she wanted me to. I wanted there to be a difference between Piper and I. And I had to be the one to create the gap.

"Actually I have plans after the game already, I just remembered." I blurted out. I felt wave of confidence and shock rush through my body as those words escaped my lips.

"With Felicity?" She questioned, her eyes shooting daggers through me.

"No, with my friends from West Ridge. They're coming to the game." I explained to her. It was true, I agreed to go to the game with them.

"Since when have they replaced me?" She questioned, her toning seeming as if my words had hurt her. I felt a pang of remorse in my heart. I knew that Piper hadn't treated me the best lately, but that didn't give me an excuse.

"No, of course not." I told her, offering a small smile.

"Great, so do you think we might be able to tag along?" She asked again, her look gaining in anticipation.

"I don't see why not, I'll just have to check with everyone else." I told her, already regretting what I had just told her.

Later that afternoon, I was perched at my desk hopelessly trying to understand the jumble or French homework sitting in front of me. My mind raced as I tried to cram all the homework from this week I had been putting off. The entire packet was due tomorrow and my grade could not afford a late mark.

Piper seemed to be one of those people who barely applied any effort and got flawless marks. That was the one thing I was always jealous of, she seemed to have everything come easy to her. Her parents made amazing money, she had lots of friends and a great boyfriend along with effortless marks. She was also beautiful and never even had to try. I tried to stop comparing the two of us, but it was impossible. I always seemed to pale in comparison to her. I always felt like her sidekick.

And I think my own insecurities were the driving force behind me not wanting her to meet my new found friends. I was afraid that once they met, they'd prefer her to me. That's stupid, selfish and childish, but I couldn't help the way I felt.

Ding!

Have you thought about the dance at all?

The text was from Felicity of course. As much as I wanted to tell her no, there was part of me that wanted to. I think I wanted to just to spite Piper. She had this hold on me, she knew she couldn't make me. But if I did it on my own initiative, things would be different. I might be able to prove something to Piper and to myself.

I did, and I think I might want to go...

I sent the text, awaiting the reply from Felicity which was sure to be one great suprise and delight.

YES GIRL! I knew you'd come around!

She replied in the manner that I expected from her. My seasoning pay have been petty, but deep down I knew I needed to do something. I couldn't let myself become a slave to Piper and to what she wanted an expected. I really did love Piper, but I needed to become my own person. I needed to show Piper that Mila Parker could be her own girl, and make her own choices, and do things without her and her input. This was my time to prove myself. Date or no date, I was going to be there.

I thought back to that thought of a date. I would feel out of place with no one there, and all my friends, Felicity and Piper, had dates. But there was no one I would even want to consider. Whenever I thought of that topic, I could only think of West. He's the only one that I'd even want to consider going with. He's the only one that I could even imagine being in a relationship with. He's created this unrealistic expectations for a guy to live up to. He was the kindest person I've ever met in my entire life. He treated me different than anyone had ever treated me before. Being with him felt right.

But then again, what if he was like that with everyone. He had amazing friends and he was so kind to me even when I was stranger. I couldn't help but feel Iike I wasn't anyone special to him. I was just another girl. He was just a good person, he treated everyone and everything with such a gentle kindness. There was a huge possibility that my feelings and hopes were completely unmatched and out of line.

"Hey, Mila." Bea said, opening the door into my room. She slipped in and took a seat on my bed.

"How was your day today?" I questioned, setting my pencil down. My hands had been writing for so long, they needed to be stretched out.

"Not bad, but there was this one boy in our lab who nearly set the building on fire." She laughed shaking her head. "How was yours?"

"It sounds like not quite as exciting as yours." I smirked at her. "But I do need you advice on something. Piper is making me invite her Logan to go out with us after the game." I responded, biting my lip. He face sunk and her eyebrows knit together.

"I wouldn't let that girl anywhere near me. She's not your best friend, Mila. You know that, don't you?" She asked me, a serious look playing on her face.

She may only be thirteen but she was wise beyond her years. I don't think my mind had quite come to terms with the situation at hand until Bea had so plainly stated it. She's not my best friend anymore, and it's pretty clear I wasn't hers either.

I had given Piper chances, and I had given her more chances. But at some point, you have to turn your back. As much as I hated the thought of not having Piper by my side, for the first time in eleven years, I knew deep down in was the best thing for me. It was the only way to preserve myself.

"But, I really don't want to hurt her feelings." I expressed, anguish covering my face.

"Listen to me, Mila." Bea said extremely seriously. "Give Piper one my chance. One. And if she screws it up, that's on her. You need to walk away." She told me, I could see the concern but firmness embedded in her eyes.

"You're right, this is her last chance.