To Call My Own

Chapter Twenty Three

"Sometimes it just feels like I'm living in a movie." I expressed, leaning my head back onto the couch.

"That's how it feels when you're in love, Mila." Mom chuckled, nudging my shoulder. I knew she was right, I just hoped this feeling would stay. "I need to ask you a question, a serious one." She said, switching off the tv. I sat up straight, suddenly afraid of what she might ask. "You're of a age now and you're very mature, so I want to let you make this choice." She continued on. My heart began to beat fast in my chest as the possible situations flooded into my head. "Your father contacted me, he wants to see you." She stated.

My shoulders slumped and a pit engulfed my stomach. It had been seven years. Seven. And this was the first time he had ever made an attempt that I knew of. I was torn. Torn between desperate and furious. Desperate to get answers and stubborn and furious because he missed a good portion of his daughters life without a second thought.

"Mom, are you serious?" I asked, grasping for air. It felt like the walls around me were craving in and crumbling to pieces, suffocating me.

"Yes, I got a call yesterday. Apparently he's been living in Red Deer." She explained. The thought of his living that close all along was like another punch to the gut. Red Deer isn't even that far, the thought made me sick to my stomach. "I know it's a lot to process, but I promised him I'd tell you. You don't have to do anything you don't want, Mila." She said, putting her arms around me to comfort me.

"This just came out of no where." I whimpered, tears trickling out of my eyes. It felt like everything was smooth sailing, until now.

"I know sweetheart, just me. It wasn't what I expected either." She told me, using her thumb to wipe the stray tears.

I got up and made my way up the stairs and collapsed on my bed. My head was full of swirling thoughts that I wanted to push out. I didn't want to have to deal with this right now, I just wanted this whole ordeal to go away. He took seven years, what's a couple more now? Why did he have to do it right now?

There had to be someone I could talk to, to sort through everything I was feeling. I had a feeling Bea wasn't the person, I knew mom more than likely didn't want her to see him. I picked up my phone and hit West's contact, hoping he'd pick up.

"Hello?" He questioned into the phone. His voice sounded groggy and half a sleep. I glanced at my clock and remembered it was nearly eleven.

"Hey, um sorry to wake you up. Um, I can call back later." I replied, my voice nearly breaking with every word, more tears falling down.

"No, Mila don't hang up. What's going on?" He asked, suddenly much more aware. More than likely due to the fact I was crying.

"Everything's wrong. It's my dad. I don't know what to do." I responded through the sobs. I had suddenly just felt this wave of emotion hit me. "He lives in Red Deer now and he wants to see me." I explained, trying to get a grip on myself.

"I can't even imagine what you're feeling. Are you going to meet up with him?" He inquired.

"I'm torn West. Part of me wants to see him and maybe even get some answers, but at the same time I'm terrified." I told him, this time my emotions were at bay.

"Listen, if you decide to go, I don't want you going alone." He expressed seriously. The protectiveness that he showed for me was nice sometimes. I never had an older brother and my father clearly wasn't in the picture, so having someone to look out for me was always nice. "If you decide to go and need someone, I'll always be free." He assured.

We continued to talk for at least another twenty minutes. When we're talking, time doesn't even seem to exist. Its just the two of us and I can tell him anything, I know he'll honestly listen and never judge me.