Demonic Influence (I hate my co-workers)

Best Wishes

Dear Fred,

I regret to inform you that I will be unable to work for quite some time, due to the violent shivers that currently rack my body during my every waking moment. It is with this overwhelming sense of regret that I inform you that I will also remain housebound during this time, a choice I definitely made for myself.

I'm not quite sure as to when exactly this illness overtook me, however it worked quite swiftly, leaving me bedridden in only days. I would warn others against it if I knew what it was.

I hope that Annie's baby shower goes well, tell her not to be nervous, if you can. She's been waiting for this for a while, and I know how much it means to her. It'll go great, I'm sure of it.

"I didn't know that demons could procreate," Brett spoke up, from his spot looming over Eddy's shoulder.

"Oh, we can't," Eddy responded, offhand.

"But then... what's a-?"

Eddy looked him dead in the eyes. "It's exactly what it sounds like. Baby. Shower."

I will also most likely not be able to kill anyone during this trying time as I struggle to regain control of my spasming body, regretfully, so please tell Colin to cover my load for the time being. If he gets pissy about it, just let him know that I remember everything he told me about Karen, and see if he still doesn't want to help me out.

Best wishes,

Eddy

"That should satisfy them."

"They seriously let you just take time off like that? With no explanation whatsoever?" Brett asked, watching as the demon rolled the parchment up and tied it with a bow.

"Well, it's not like anyone can just go missing, they'll check in on us if we don't show up at family bingo night or whatever," Eddy said. "But for the most part, my bosses are pretty chill. Besides, I did explain! I wrote it down right there."

"Wow," Brett said, face passive. Eddy had come to recognize this blank faced stare as Brett's 'thinking' face. Or maybe it was his 'angry' face. Or maybe it was his 'compassionate but currently being stuck up about it' face. Or maybe Eddy didn't really know what emotion Brett was conveying. Either way, he was mostly positive it was one of those three emotions.

"How about your bosses, how are they?" He wondered aloud, cracking and popping his knuckles absentmindedly. It was nice of Brett to let him write a letter, no matter how little it actually mattered in the grand scheme of things. He handed the rolled up parchment to Brett, who took it and set it aside.

"They're..." Brett paused, a sour expression crossing his face. "It's impartial that they oversee every moment of our work that they can. They like to micromanage. If we're doing the job right, we can still be doing it better. There's always room for improvement." He said the last few words bitterly. "And they get... antsy if we don't report in for a while."

Eddy frowned at that. "Well that sucks. I know it sounds crazy, but I'd much rather be a demon than an angel any day."

Brett pursed his lips. "Me too," he muttered under his breath. Then, he gave Eddy a slightly guilty look. "Alright, back in the chair."

Eddy pouted phantom aching beginning in his wrists already. "So soon? We're having such a fun conversation..."

"And we can have that same conversation, just with you tied up in the chair," Brett nodded along with him. "You understand."

"No, not really. Not much of this makes sense," Eddy shook his head, shrugging.

Brett just smothered a small smile. "You are so calm about this... but you know I can't let you go, you might tell someone about..." he trailed off, biting his lip.

Eddy cracked a grin. "Oh yeah, that dude in the alley. Almost forgot about him." He stood up, pushing the chair in behind him and allowing Brett to guide him by one wrist back across the room. The angel's touch was feather-light, yet strong as iron. Eddy wasn't quite sure how that was possible, but he wasn't about to question it.

It happened two or three steps from the chair. Brett loosened his grip for a moment, probably so that he could turn around and let Eddy sit down, and Eddy took the moment to yank his wrist back as quickly as possible, shoving Brett almost to the ground as he stumbled back, scrambling for the stairs.

He made it maybe three feet, and that's being generous about it. Quick as lightning, a hand shot out and grabbed his ankle, and Eddy felt his heart fly to his throat as he tripped headfirst over nothing, arms coming out to catch his fall as he did so. He just barely stopped his nose from cracking headfirst into the nice, carpeted floor of Brett's aesthetically pleasing, 80's themed basement.

There was another scramble, and suddenly there was a large weight on his back. Eddy groaned, letting his forehead thunk against the floor. "So close..."

Brett looked down at him from where he perched, grinning despite the situation. "No, not really. You need to stop doing this."

Eddy sighed dramatically. "I just want to see the outdoors again, can't I please just see sunlight? I miss it, and the birds, and the fresh air. Everything smells of cinnamon down here, and the only breeze I get comes from that rickety old fan on the desk," Eddy nodded in the direction of the fan, which must have been at least twelve years old. He thought he was making a pretty fair point, at least where the fan was concerned. It was ancient, and the blades clicked when you turned the speed up.

"That's bullshit,". Brett said, now giggling slightly. Eddy took an experimental breath, feeling his breathing become only slightly more labored under the angel's weight. "I know for a fact that demons hate nothing more than birds and fresh air and sun. You can't fool me!"

Eddy rolled his eyes affectionately. "Fine, you may have outsmarted me this time, angel, but I'll get you. Just you wait."

"Oh," Brett said, draping himself over Eddy for a moment to bop him on the nose, oblivious to the strangled noise that came out of the demon below him as he did so, the poor boy hissing like a cat. "I plan on it." 

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A/N: I don't even know what i'm doing anymore. Is this funny? Who knows, not me, that's for sure lol