A Marauder's Guide to Falling Forever

Chapter Three

"You cut your hair."

Remus looked surprised when she showed up at his doorstep. She was standing on the weathered welcome mat, drenched head to toe from the torrential rain that continued to cascade from the blackened clouds that hovered ominously over London. 

"Is that really all you want to say to me?" she quirked her brow and gave him a sly smile. Remus, paler and thinner than she had seen him last, frowned and stepped to the side to let her in. She moved through the doorway, soggy shoes squishing against the tile floor and leaving puddles in her wake.

"How about, I don't suppose you've forgotten how to perform a drying spell?" he stated obviously while eyeing the water dripping from her clothes and pooling onto the foyer floor.

Marlene laughed and pulled out her wand from inside her jacket pocket. She cast a hot-air charm over her and a gust of warm air thrust its way against her wet hair and clothes, concealing evidence that she had ever been caught in the storm brewing outside the window.

A large crack of thunder broke the awkward silence that filled Remus's apartment. He stared wearily at Marlene in the foyer, neither one of them making a move. Another time perhaps, she would have fidgeted nervously under the scrutiny of his gaze. But Marlene felt nothing of the sort as they continued to stare one another down.

"I believe I should say welcome back," he finally said with a sigh, and then they both stepped forward to throw their arms around one another; hers out of nostalgia and his of relief.

"I know that you must be very cross with me," she mumbled into his body. She could feel his body tense up as he processed her words. He pulled away from her, planting his hands firmly on each of her shoulders and looked her steadily in the eyes. His were filled with obvious emotion and Marlene's guilty conscious began to flicker. 

"I am not cross with you," he countered and Marlene doubted that he truly meant it, "I am however, relieved to know that you are alive." 

Alive. It was a funny word in Marlene's vocabulary these days. To some, such in Remus's insinuation, alive meant to be physically present. But Marlene hadn't been alive in spirit in over a year.

"Where have you been?" he finally released his hands upon her and ushered her inside the kitchen. Marlene sat down at the table while Remus rushed to fill the teapot with water.

"Everywhere," she drummed her slender fingers on the wood table top. She noted that he was frowning again at her vagueness and she sighed. She had been mentally preparing for the interrogation and reminded herself that she would need to be patient with their questions. "I am sorry that I left like I did," she continued, "It was never my intention to hurt anyone."

"An owl would have been nice," he said pointedly, "even just one."

"I understand that everyone has been worried," she ignored him and continued to speak. "I hadn't intended to take off without explanation. It just happened. And I felt free – so free. I haven't felt normal like that in so long. I felt like I had lost myself and suddenly I found her again. I couldn't let that go, Remus."

His hands and eyes were searching for two cups out of the cupboard but he was evidently still listening. When she didn't say more he opened his mouth as if to speak but closed it quickly again and shook his head. The awkwardness that had clung to the air upon her arrival continued to pollute tension into the room, and slowly the unwelcoming feeling of uneasiness began to transcend. When Remus failed to respond she pushed forward.

"How is everyone?" she asked, even though she knew it was a loaded question.

"How do you think?" Remus finally looked at her again and the pain evident in his tone alone made her insides twist. "They've been a mess since you disappeared nearly six months ago. We've all been a mess."

Had she really been gone that long?

"I did tell Emmeline – "

"Who really didn't know anything other than you were leaving London to 'clear your head'," Remus quipped, finally revealing the subtle hint of anger in his voice. "Sorry," his face relaxed, "I didn't mean to snap at you."

"Like I said. I didn't intend to go for so long," Marlene mumbled. She shifted her gaze so as not to look at him.

"Which brings me back to my initial question," Remus's tone softened further. The shrill whistle of water boiling cut in and he quickly grabbed the kettle off the stove. "Where have you been?"

"I've been working on a mission for the Order," she finally admitted. "Like I said, I've been everywhere; Paris, Greece, and Russia, mostly. But I just left Germany."

She snuck another peek at him; there was a scowl forming on his face as he poured the hot liquid into the two cups he had placed on the kitchen table. Marlene reached forward to grab one, cupping her hands around it and letting it warm her hands.

"The Order?" Remus sank into the chair opposite her. He stirred a spoon around his cup, the tinkering of metal upon porcelain filled the room. "Surely we would have known –"

"I have been working on something for Dumbledore for quite some time. You remember the task he set me up with last year?" she interrupted him.

"But that was convincing Tom to join the Order," his obvious confusion was apparent. "Tom has been worried sick about you. He had no idea where you were. None of us did."

"Dumbledore knew," Marlene replied and Remus appeared surprised at the revelation. Obviously Dumbledore had kept to his promise not to tell anyone what she had been up to.

"I don't suppose you're going to fill me in on exactly what you were doing then?" he prodded and Marlene shook her head.

"I need to see Dumbledore first," she told him, "I have things I need to tell him."

"You're in luck. There's an Order meeting tonight," the lines between his brows deepened with thought. "You have impeccable timing."

The wolf is waiting and you will not want to be late to your meeting. Cassandra's words rang in her ears. Marlene had left Berlin immediately. The first place she thought to go was Remus's, which she anticipated Cassandra meant by 'the wolf'. Apparently she had.

"And the meeting is here, isn't it?" she already knew the answer to her question, but felt compelled to ask it anyways. Marlene suddenly felt her throat constrict and go dry; she didn't know if she was quite ready to face the wrath of her friends just yet, especially all at once.

"Yes," he frowned. "Did you know? Is that why you showed up here tonight?"

"No," she shook her head. "I mean, not really."

"Vagueness doesn't suit you Marlene," he raised his brows as he took another sip of his tea, peering over the top of the cup at her, "does anyone else know that you're back yet?"

"No," she replied. "I came here first."

"Why?"

"Why?" Marlene restated his question to process her answer to it. She couldn't tell him that a seer compelled her with fancy words because that would just lead to more questions. Instead, she thought of a more logical and reasonable answer that she felt was equally true. "I think because you understand me in ways that nobody else does. If anyone is going to forgive me, it would be you."

"So you assume that I forgive you?" he laughed, a first trace of a smile played upon his lips, "confident about that are you?"

"I hope that you'll forgive me," she smiled back, "I'm going to need you in the next few hours."

"Oh?" he sounded surprised. "How's that?"

"Because Lily is going to kill me, and I need someone to fend her off before she rips me to shreds."

**

A/N: Sorry for the long break between chapters! Did you expect Marlene to see Remus first before any of her other friends?

Let me know your thoughts! As always, if you enjoyed the chapter please vote and comment :)