A Marauder's Guide to Falling Forever

Chapter Forty One

The loft felt foreign to her when they arrived back. Though she had begun to feel at home in the tiny apartment, suddenly she felt a heavy sense of detachment. She surveyed the room and noted how every object, piece of furniture, and picture seemed wrong to her somehow. Quite suddenly she wanted to be anywhere other than where she was.

"Are you okay?" Sirius asked. Marlene looked to him and the exhaustion of his facial expression matched that of the tone of his voice.

"No," she said flatly. "No. Nothing is okay." His hand reached for her and then like a bomb detonating, she imploded.

Marlene let out an aggravated scream, pulling away from him and rushing at the nearest lamp on the side table. "I hate this!" Her hands grabbed hold of the ceramic base and suddenly it was vigorously flying through the air. "I'm so goddamn tired of all of this," she yelled as the shattering sound of broken glass hit the stone wall across the room. "This place. This life."

Sirius didn't immediately stop her, instead standing firmly at the threshold of the door and watching her expressionless.

"At what point is enough?!" She moved towards the couch and grabbed hold of one of the couch cushions. Then it too went sailing across the wall.

"When we are all dead?" She kicked her foot into the base of the couch where the sound of something splintering echoed. Adrenaline prevented her from feeling any pain, only anger. She smashed her fist against one of the cushions, withdrew, and punched the cushion again.

"Because I'm getting tired of waiting for my own funeral. I don't know how much more of this I can take, Sirius. I just want it to be over with already." She grabbed hold of the pillow and buried her face into it, letting out another infuriated scream into the fabric.

And then quite suddenly the pillow yanked away from her and Sirius's firm hands were holding either side of her face tight enough to cause her pain. Unlike her shin from kicking the couch, this time she felt it. "Ow, Sirius!'

"Shut up!" he growled, teeth bared and looking far more intimidating than she cared to see. "Just shut up. I just told my best mate that he and his entire family are being hunted by Voldemort. I have the heaviest burden weighing on my shoulders now, knowing that I am responsible for keeping them alive. I get that you're angry Marlene, I'm angry too. But I will not stand here listening to you talk about giving up on life. Giving up everything we've been fighting for. Don't you dare do that to me and everyone else that loves you."

"I - I - " Marlene stuttered, "I didn't -"

She hadn't intended it to sound as though she was considering harming herself, but deduced that Sirius had mistaken her words for such a thought.

But before she could find her voice Sirius's arms enclosed around her and squeezed the remaining air from her lungs. "I'm sorry," he whispered into her hair. "I didn't mean to be rude. I can't listen to you talk like that. This is killing me too."

Marlene clung to his shirt and let out a sob into his chest. She felt the uneven rise and fall of his breathing, the quickening of his beating heart and suddenly without thought she was pulling out of his arms.

"Mar - ?"

Her small hands shoved against him, catching him off guard. Sirius fell backwards into the couch with a mixture of surprise and irritation painted across his face.

"What are you - "

Then Marlene moved forward, throwing herself onto his lap and grabbing hold of his face just as firmly as he had hers moments earlier. The short stubble of his facial hair scratched abrasively against the palms of her hands as she pulled him towards her.

She smashed her lips greedily against his and he didn't bother to fight her off. Instead his hands weaved around her torso and pulled her in closer. Anger dissolved quickly into desperation and lust as she bit down onto his lip hard enough that she could taste faint traces of copper.

He growled against her lips, fighting against her for dominance. Her mind completely driven on autopilot, her hands became frenzied and autonomous as she worked to yank his sweater up and over his head.

Grabbing a fistful of his hair she pulled his head to the side, leaned in to his ear and hissed, "I'm not giving up on life." She let go of him and his head rolled forward again so that she was staring into his eyes. They were dark and haunting, brewing with emotions Marlene had never seen before. Primitive. Intense.

"Show me then," he challenged, his voice was deep and the vibration from his throat caused the hairs of her body to stand alert, and a chill to run the length of her spine.

And so she did.

***

A/N: Four days left until the end! There are more than 4 chapters though, but I'm not telling you how many. You'll get one more later today :)