A Marauder's Guide to Falling Forever

Chapter Six

He had already opened his door when she popped up outside his apartment, and he held it open for her to enter inside after they had performed drying spells over their wet clothing. The place looked just the same as it had the last time she had stepped foot within it, but she admired it all over again. He was watching her carefully and she could sense the reserve he had about initiating conversation.

"So you wanted to talk," she decided to break the tension after she had roamed around the living room and dropped into one of the chairs.

"Not quite the 'hello' I was hoping for," he choked out. Though sadness still lingered, his obvious frustration was beginning to break through.

"Hello, Sirius," she said without a trace of a smile.

He let out a strange noise; one of anguish, frustration and something else Marlene couldn't quite distinguish. And then he flung himself across the room with very few strides, grabbed Marlene by the wrists and yanked her upwards from the comfortable position she had settled into.

Marlene had very little time to process his action before his grip around her arms forced her upright and her body thrust into what could only be compared to that of a very hard wall, rendering her breath away completely. His arms tangled around her, constricting her much like Emmeline had earlier in the evening but he did not pull away when she protested the strength of his grasp.

She stopped fighting him and instead let him smother her with his body, while her own betrayed her by clinging to him just as tightly. She surrendered to the unconscious part of her that yearned for his touch. She didn't realize exactly how much she missed the feeling of being near him until that moment. But yet...

"Sirius, –"

He let out a sob; shaky and transparent. His body quivered violently and he clung onto her even tighter, like he was somewhat afraid of what she intended to say. His desperation was more painful than Marlene could ever imagine, and the guilt she had tried so hard to push away hit her like a stun spell to the chest. She hadn't really anticipated this reaction, though it was obvious now that she should have.

"I thought you were dead," his voice mumbled into her hair amidst another repressed sob. She could feel the bob of his Adam's apple and scratch of his unkempt facial hair against her scalp. And yet, the feeling was more comforting than it was unpleasant.

"I'm sorry," she whispered back into his chest. It was a pathetic response that couldn't possibly make up for what she had obviously put him through. But Marlene didn't really know what else she was supposed to say. No words could ever express what was going on inside her head in that moment.

The concept of time became lost to them. She didn't know how long they stood intertwined with one another, but she didn't care to give it much thought. Instead she allowed herself to lose herself in his arms, thoughts of everything she loved about him filled her head and cast an intoxicating daze she never wanted to end.

But of course it didn't last nearly long enough to satisfy the empty hole that existed within her. When they finally pulled apart she was able to assess the emotional distress that was still present on his face. His eyes were swollen and the stain of his tears still trailed downwards softly. He didn't bother to wipe them away, indicating that he didn't care for her to see him in such a vulnerable state.

Marlene was surprised to discover that she was crying too. She hadn't realized it until the salty sting of tears pooled at the lines of her lips and she tasted her own sadness. Marlene pulled a hand away from where it held to his back so that she could reach up to touch his face instead. She used her thumb to push away a fallen tear on his cheek and he closed his eyes.