I'm Not Insane. Just Not Insane

This is just the preview.. I guess of what I might write.. I dunno.. Soo here you goo :]

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I'm Not Insane. Just Not Insane.

"I'm not insane, 'I'm not insane, I'm not insane, I'm not.... not insane" Almost Easy played, while I sat down. I read my letter, the letter I made a year ago.

"Dear family,

I couldn't handle it anymore. The pain you put me through, the pain everyone else put me through. Getting made fun of, being abused at times. I'm done. I can't help but feel that I was just a mistake, and that I don't mean anything to you. I know you tried your best, but still. I cant help but see you guys fight everyday. Dad getting drunk and hitting me. Mom is already gone too. I cant help feeling like that was my fault to. Now we have this new mom, that thinks she can just replace my old mom. But no. I can't deal with anything anymore. I just can't. I'm done."

Tears started pouring down my face. Do you really think I was going to commit suicide? I might of a year ago. I could of. But I didn't. I didn't want to hurt my now 5 year old brother. I didn't want him to feel like it was his fault in the future. No, I never want him to go through the pain I did. I don't want him cutting himself, trying to commit suicide as well- not like our mom. I want to be there for him when he feels down. I want to be there for him, like I wanted someone to be there for me.

Looking at the paper, I crumpled it, and threw it into my box. Shoving the box into the closet, the doorbell rang. I ran down the stairs, before anyone else got the door. Nothing there. I was about to walk away when I heard a knock. Reluctently, I opened the door, and saw someone. I dont know who this someone is but it was a guy. Awkwardly, I went outside, and shut the door behind me.

"Uhm, Hi?" I quietly said while pulling down my sleeves. "Who are you?"

He stood there for a few minutes, and finally he spoke, "Hi, I'm your new neighbor." He looked down at his shoes and looked back up at me. "My mom wanted me to come over here, but I dont know why.'

"Oh," I looked down at my green socks, "Welcome to the neighborhood." We stood there awkwardly for a minute. No one spoke a word. Nothing.

'Well, my name is Matt," His hazel eyes lit up.

I looked up, my ears perking up. Being in love with Avenged Sevenfold and all, and hearing his name was Matt and he has hazel eyes excited me. "Im Ella."

"Well it was nice meeting you Ella," He waved goodbye in excitement, "maybe you can show me around tomorrow."

"We'll see Matt," I smiled, "We'll see. But it was nice meeting you too." I waved goodbye to him aswell, and headed inside.

Xavier, my 5 year old brother, ran up to me, and hugged my legs. I bent down to my knees, and hugged him back. He was the only one I loved anymore. I dont love my 'step mom'. I don't love my dad. No. Not one bit.

"I hungry! I hungry!" Xavier yelled.

"Shh. Dad is sleeping. We don't want to wake him up," I turned to look at the couch, and found his lazy ass on that couch. "See? What do you want?"

"Chicken nuggets!" Xavier laughed quietly not to wake him up.

"Okay," grabbing his hand, "Lets go into the kitchen to get some nuggets."