Behind The Profiler's Mask

Chapter 7

JJ had let Garcia out of the room five minutes ago. She sits alone in the conference room with the letter in her hands. On the envelope is 'Morgan' written with a handwriting she recognize immediately. The letter is from Emily. Her Emily. With shaky hands she finally opens the letter.

Hi Morgan

Thank you for helping me get home from JJ's wedding. If you hadn't, I probably would have collapsed in a bush or in the middle of the street or something! Remind me to not ever drink that much again. And I'm sorry for ruining your shirt. I normally don't cry, but everything got too much that night. I hate feeling so broken, but that has happened a lot lately. It feels like I can't even get my walls up again before she crushes them all down. You know when I first met JJ, I actually thought that I was seeing an angel. She makes me feel things I didn't even know I could feel. I never in a million years thought that I would experience real love. It scared the crap out of me when I realized the power she has over my heart. I never had the courage to do anything about it, but it was okay to just be friends. Best friends. I loved the nights in all the hotel rooms I've shared with JJ. Of course nothing happened Morgan! Well okay, something happened; She made me feel safe. I hardly sleep at nights, but on those nights she would take me into her arms, run her fingers through my hair and softly sing in my ear. Those nights I slept like there was no worries in the world, nothing bad could get to me. I'll carry those memories with me forever. But I can't take it anymore. It hurts so bad to see her with somebody else. It hurts so much to never get the chance to show her how much I love her. I thought I could handle just being her friend, but I can't. Not anymore. The most important thing is that she is happy, which she is, so that is why I have decided to leave. I've been offered a job in London and I'm going to take it. I must get away. But please Morgan, with all my heart, promise to keep my angel safe. Keep her safe, not only in the field, but during the times she's scared without anyone knowing. She is terrified of thunderstorms. Never question her about it or try to tell her that there is nothing to be afraid of. She hates when people do that. Just hold her if that's what she wants, or if she asks for a coffee, give her one (but put hot chocolate in the cup instead, it calms her down more than coffee). Remember to tell her that you appreciate her work. She sometimes feels like we don't see how much she does for the team. Never ever make her believe she's any less than she is! By keeping JJ happy and safe you do the same for my heart, because she is my heart.

Thank you for being a good friend.

Yours Emily

By the time JJ has finished reading the letter for the third time a few tears have escaped her eyes. She puts the letter back in the envelope and leans back in the chair. So many thoughts are running through her mind. Emily left because of her. She left because she wanted her to be happy. She left because she was in love with her. Emily was in love with her.

Garcia is sitting in her office, nervously waiting for JJ. She feels like it was the right thing to do to let JJ read the letter, but she has no idea how JJ will react. About twenty minutes after Garcia left the conference room JJ knocks on her office door.
"Come in" Garcia answers.
JJ comes in and hands Garcia the letter before she sits down in one of the chairs.
"How long have you known?" JJ asks
"I read the letter just this morning. How are you feeling?"
"I don't know. I had no idea she felt this way."
"Not felt, feels." Garcia corrects.
"Yeah. What am I supposed to do?"
"Well, do you feel the same?" Garcia asks with hope in her voice."
"I'm married."
"That's not what I asked."
"Even if I did feel something there is nothing I can do about it. I'm married and I have Henry. I can't even think about changing that. What would people say?"
"Okay, now that is the stupidest thing I've ever heard. The JJ I know doesn't care about what people think of her. And Emily loves Henry as if he was her own, you know that. So, what's the real reason? Because there is something, and you haven't denied to having feelings for Emily." Garcia says with newly found confidence.
JJ realizes that there is no point in lying to her friend. She takes a deep breath before she answers.
"She stopped calling. She promised to call me once a week and first she did and everything was good, but then she just stopped calling. And she didn't pick up when I called her. And also, she was the one who talked me into starting a relationship with Will. Why would she do that of she wanted me to be with her?" JJ says as she feels tears sting behind her eyes.
"I don't know JJ. My guess is that she told herself that she could never be with you and that if you got together with Will you would at least have someone to come home to every day." Garcia says as she places a comforting hand on JJ's knee.