Adopted by The Sidemen

Chapter 17

Vikk shared a painful smile, his eyes going blank for a moment.

"I- I haven't gone back there in years, I might have been 9 or 10 the last time. In the local cemetery, the one next to the little white church. There's a new house where ours was now but I've never seen it. Sheffield's a long way from there."

"Sheffield?" I inquired.

"That's where my foster family lives, I was fostered permanently not long after you left. Got two older brothers too." He paused. "Do you want to go and see them?"

"Not- not right now. Maybe later."

I had seen their graves, of course, I was there when they were buried and had been in the country for 6 months after their deaths, but I didn't remember it. I barely remembered, the house, the neighbourhood, the school I had attended for two and a bit years, so I certainly didn't remember where my parents were buried or even what the graves looked like. Another thing I had forgotten.

"I'll take you back there one day, to the old area we grew up in." He cracked a smile, a genuine one. "I think I need to go back too, remember some of the good times."

There was another pause, a comfortable pause, and we listened to the buzz of voices in the next room- it was mainly Ethan, Harry and Preston I think. I was beginning to recognise them just from their voices, a skill I had picked up with the kids, working out who was who without seeing him.

"What have you been doing all this time?" I turned to him, gesturing to the next room. "You've clearly been doing something that's working if you're living in a house like this with people like these. You're a... YouTuber?"

Vikk smiled and nodded, a hint of pride in his posture, his look and his voice.

"Yeah, online gaming and videos and such, I assume you're familiar with it?" I nodded, I was vaguely familiar with YouTube but personally I was more of a Netflix gal. "I started when I was 16, uploading videos of gameplay montage. It was to get my mind off everything that was going on because it honestly took that long to really hit me..."

"It took a long for me as well, it didn't properly hit until after I was kicked out. At the home I had space to think and it... it all hit then."

"It was through my videos that I met these boys, the Sidemen and I hit it off and when I moved out from my foster parents place it was in with them. I've been living with them for 4 years now and it's been great, we've just moved into this house with more space."

He smiled a little, moving to glance around the open door at his friends.

"I never really told them anything about my past, I let them assume that my foster parents are my actual parents until... well, until you popped up. I kind of had to explain it then."

"I get why you don't tell anyone." I whispered, hugging my knees. "I don't either. I think about it a lot, but I don't tell anyone. Other than Devon and Hope."

"Who are they?"

"My closest friends, we go to school together. I didn't really tell them why I was coming here though, I just mentioned I would be out of the country for a bit." I smiled a little at their mention- words honestly couldn't describe how close we were.

Hope and Devon were twins, fraternal twins, who kind of accepted that they were going to be friends because of all the stuff that went on at school, the people who thought they were apart of a gang, the sporty popular people and everyone else we didn't fit in with. It was kind of an accident I had ended up being friends with them but I liked them and they stuck around, and three years on nothing much had changed. I knew everything about them and they knew everything about me.

"We've got a lot of catching up to do." Vikk sighed. "7 years go by fast."

"They do." I mumbled, my hand automatically going to one of the burn scars running up my side. "They really do."

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In the end we decided to remain at Vikk's place, the Sidemen house as it was known collectively. There were enough bedrooms for everyone, with the rooms for the four occupants and three, three, furnished guest rooms, so as long as some people shared then it would be fine. It was decided that I'd get a room to myself, being the only girl and all, Lachlan shared with Vikk, Preston and Rob were in one guest room while Mitch and Jerome were in the other.

The first night I was restless, conflicted and unable to sleep. Everything felt right but there was something in my chest that made it feel so, so wrong- would this mean I stay in London? Even though I had grown up here this city was strange and completely new to me, holding bad memories that I didn't want to remember.

And sure, some places in New Zealand might hold those same bad memories, but there were more happy times over there- happy times I could at least remember. Sure I had those peaceful and tranquil 7 years growing up in London, but in New Zealand I had three years in the care home with Marissa, Devon and Hope at school, learning to skateboard, honing my drawing skills- building a future for myself. I thought I knew what I wanted to do, I wanted to stay at the home and become a permanent carer but now... now maybe not.

Eventually I ended up sitting at my window, staring out into the street below. I didn't know what I wanted anymore. I didn't want to leave my brother but could I just... abandon everything at home? Where was my home now?

I didn't know.