Life with Pots-Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome (NANOWRIMO2019)

Being Thankful

I happen to suck at this. No really...I think I've been more pissed off that God dare make me sick in the first place then to sit and be thankful. I was actually told by a Rabbi at the height of being diagnosed that I was overreacting and I was spoiled, because it wasn't cancer, so therefore I should be happy and grateful and stop being so hard on my husband...yeah don't talk to him anymore.

But I do have things to be grateful for. One of the major ones is that this time last year, I could not drive and could barely walk around. I can now stay upright for a descent amount of time. I can also drive most of the time. Tonight was a bit iffy. I probably should not have been driving. 

I am able to participate in activities with my family again. This was the hardest to bear when I first became ill. I couldn't do anything that I used to, so no I was not dying and I was going to live, the question was just how? I can now do short park runs. I can even walk the quarter of a mile to the park near my house and back and be okay. I bring lots of water and sodium filled snacks. That helps the most.

My kids are astounded when mommy actually comes and joins them on adventures. For almost two years, my husband was the only one that could go. My kids got used to Mommy not participating. I am thank God finally able to go on small outings again. I have to be careful and make sure I am listening to my body but I can do it again.

I am currently almost finished with my psychology degree. One of my biggest fears is that I would not do what I wanted because of dizziness. Now that my dizzy spells are less thank goodness I am able to do more and I did not give up on my education. I should finish my bachelors this summer I hope. Next off I will be getting into a Masters/PhD program. My goal is to work with victims of Trauma. I am very passionate about stopping human trafficking. I plan on hopefully opening an Equine Therapy Center in my city at some point with an adjoining after-care program that is non-denominational. By that I mean I don't want religion to play a role unless it is wanted by the survivors. 

So yeah, I have a lot to be grateful for. I have gotten a descent amount of my life back. My marriage is stable again. Don't kid yourself ya'll. POTS can and will affect your love life. I wish it didn't. I wish we could all remain healthy but it gets hard to deal with in the long run and it's a long term thing. 

Okay I have four gorgeous amazing kids too. So there is so much to be grateful for.