Drippin' (NCT Dream FF)

chapter ten

⚠️Warning: in this chapter the protagonist struggles with body image and an eating disorder!⚠️

after the encounter with my manager, i completely changed my diet plan. no longer eating three full and healthy meals but instead one full meal, low in carbs, and one snack during lunch time. slowly but surely all my energy drained out of me. my cheeks indented, my skin dull and pale. the bones all over my body peeking out. my legs became almost nonexistent. i isolated myself for a month until there was no meat left on my body. today, i would finally return to the company. weighing a scary 35 kg (77 lbs).
as soon as i walked in, i faced a concerned jaemin. he grabbed my face, staring at my lifeless eyes. his eyebrows furrowing as no emotion was present in my face. looking past him i saw the other members jogging to welcome me back.
"what the hell happened?" jaemin whisper yells, pulling me out of my trance.
"i became perfect. aren't i just perfect?" i tilted my head, hurt displayed in my eyes. he opened his mouth to speak but was suddenly interrupted by haechan who pushed him out of the way, hugging me tightly. i winced in pain from the soreness of my bones. he pulled away looking directly at my eyes. his face showed disgust as he saw the skeleton in front of him. he backed away slowly.
"what?" i began picking at the skin left on my arms, as i spoke, "am i not skinny enough? i can diet harder.." i asked concerned.
"you're scary thin, y/n..." chenle spoke lowly.
"where's mark?" i question, not wanting to speak on my weight.
"he left dream y/n, he's preparing to come back with 127." jeno says.
"is he in their practice room?" i eyeball him.
"i assume so." as those words leave his mouth, i begin walking to the 127 practice room. little tears leaving my eyes when i catch sight of myself through the mirror in the hall. i stop in my tracks. facing the mirror.
"who have i become?" i question myself.
"beautiful." my manager spoke from behind me. i rolled my eyes.
"disgusting is a better word for it." i state, wiping the tears from my cheeks.
"i'll admit, you need to put on about 3 or 4 kg (8 lbs) but besides that." she stops, admiring what she caused. "your cheeks aren't fat anymore and you're arm fat is gone." she smiles walking away.
"i guess..." i murmur.

unedited!
um idk if anyone will read this cuz i've been gone for so long. but im back and i hope some of you guys will still read this ❤️