Nargles & Neruda

All was well?

The group said a tearful farewell as Ginny and Hermione left The Burrow to return to Hogwarts. Harry was leaving London that day too in order to shadow an Auror on some out of the country mission. He said that he couldn't be reached for at least two weeks. Everyone was worried about him, but they all tried to hold it in for his sake.

Ginny and Hermione gave one last wave as they stepped onto the train. They pushed through the jovial post-Christmas crowd, found an empty compartment and sat down, shaking off their snowy coats and hats.

"I can't pretend I'm not relieved to get away from Mum nagging me about my NEWTs, but it's sad to be leaving Harry so soon. I wish the boys had time to visit up here on a Hogsmeade weekend, don't you?" Ginny said.

"Oh, yes," Hermione said distractedly. It was wholly unconvincing and Ginny cocked an eyebrow at her.

"Listen, Hermione, Ron's my brother and I love him dearly, but if you two are having problems, you don't have to hide it from me. I hardly want to lose you as a friend just because my prat of a brother and you can't work it out," Ginny said seriously.

Hermione's mouth hung open at Ginny's candid assessment. "Is it that obvious?" Hermione said, thinking of how it must have looked at Christmas with her constantly wriggling out of Ron's grasp, not to mention that fight.

Ginny smirked and raised her eyebrows even higher as if to say, 'yes it's that obvious.'

Hermione waved her hand, and the compartment door closed. Ginny looked at her amazed like a muggle who's just seen a broom go by. Hermione was too engrossed in her own problems to notice her friend's reaction to her newly practiced skills.

"It's not working out anymore, Ginny. You saw what happened at Christmas. That's how most conversations end up nowadays. Even when we're not fighting, it feels like we're forcing it," Hermione said. She was choosing her words carefully. She wanted to confide in Ginny, but she couldn't admit everything.

"I supposed that shouldn't surprise anyone, you two are so different," Ginny said.

"That's what everyone keeps saying, but it didn't use to feel like that." Ginny thankfully didn't probe into who 'everyone' was. "It's like I spent so long wishing that we could be together that at some point, I stopped seeing reality. It's like it's not so much love keeping us together, but the expectation of it." Ginny was listening intently so Hermione continued spilling out everything that had been on her mind. "When the war ended, I had been so sure of what my future held in store. Ron and I would finally be together. We would get married and have children alongside you and Harry. One day we would all grow old and take our children to Platform 9 ¾ just like our parents did for us," Hermione heaved a heavy sigh. "It had all seemed too clear and wonderful at the time. Now it seems less like a dream and more like a delusion."

Ginny put her arm around Hermione. "I know it's hard Hermione, but hey, it doesn't have to work out. You were banking your whole future on things working out with Ron, but you'll find someone else who wants what you want." Ginny said comfortingly. "You're a war hero. Every witch and wizard living will be clamoring to get a date with you."

Hermione didn't say anything, but she did feel better as if Ginny's blessing was what she had been seeking all along. It seemed to confirm that she didn't have to lose everything that she had planned for herself just because she and Ron didn't last. She knew now that she had to formally end things with Ron. She had to face this head-on and accept that things had changed. She would write to him as soon as she got back to school.

***

The minute her trunk was safely stored in Gryffindor Tower, Hermione spoke those familiar words, "I'm going to the library." As she hoped, she was completely alone among the stacks as her peers exchanged stories from winter break and compared their Christmas presents back in their common rooms. The dusty smell of the old books gave her courage like a shot of whiskey. Here, she was in control and could do what was right.