sorrows and woes - klaus baudelaire

⮑ behind bars

NATALIA FELT SICK TO HER STOMACH. The five children stood with Mr. Poe and told him about Count Olaf's "death." The ginger knew the real Count Olaf wasn't dead and that Jacques Snicket was the one who died. But nobody else in the town believed that an innocent man was murdered and that a villainous man was still on the loose. No matter how many times the children tried to tell them, nobody believed them.

"Count Olaf's been murdered?" Mr. Poe exclaimed in bewilderment.

"Olaf hasn't been murdered at all," Klaus said for the umpteenth time. "That's Jacques Snicket."

All five woeful orphans frowned as two of the townspeople carried Jacques away on a gurney. Natalia was reminded of when Uncle Monty died and he was carried away from them. He was one of the only people that were kind to the children and tried to help them escape Count Olaf's clutches. Jacques tried to help them, but he too ended up like Uncle Monty. Dead.

"Let's go, children," Hector said in a sad tone. "This is nothing you ought to see."

Detective Dupin pushed the handyman aside and stopped the children from leaving, "Not so fast daddy-o. It's not cool to dismiss suspects at the scene of a crime."

"Suspects?" Theodore repeated in exasperation. "If anyone did this, it's you."

"It's extra not cool to disagree with Detective Dupin," The imposter turned towards the eldest Lexington. He had no idea that T was really Theodore, a child he thought was dead.  Theodore had insisted on still wearing his disguise in town just in case Count Olaf recognized him and caused harm to him, Natalia, or the Baudelaire's.

"Your name isn't Detective Dupin, it's-" Violet started but was interrupted by Elder Annabelle yelling.

"Silence in the crowd! Gather round!"

"The Council of Elders has called this emergency town meeting," Elder Jemma announced.

"It's imperative that we discuss this most mysterious murder," Elder Sam told the crowd.

"I don't think it's imperative," Officer Luciana retorted. "I think it is absolutely necessary."

"Imperative means absolutely necessary, Esmé," Klaus informed with an eye roll.

"My name is not Esmé," The other impostor grumbled. "It's Sarah Petunia Alexandra Maryellen. But, as always, you call me Officer Luciana. It's my duty to lock up prisoners in the Uptown Jail, and I make sure Jacques was safe in his cell last night."

"Who's Jacques?" Elder Annabelle asked, not missing Officer Luciana's mistake.

"It's my nickname for Count Olaf," The fake chief of police lied. "I have the only key to the jail so his death is a mystery."

"You're right, moldy oldies," Detective Dupin agreed. "But lucky for you cats, I'm a peachy detective with a face for TV and I've already cracked this Popsicle case."