The lunchroom is packed with students once again. Ava stares at the sandwich and apple juice on her lunch tray, she has no appetite. It's just lunch after all, what's the point of having them every day? She peels a corner of the wheat sandwich bread off and shoves it into her mouth. Gross.
"Oh my God!" Melanie drops her phone onto the table and screams. It startles Ava as she jerks her head up.
Ronnie whispers as she raises her eyebrows. "Gaten."
"Gaten liked my Instagram post!" Melanie exclaims. Everyone in the table looks over at her to see her covering her mouth with both hands. "I'm going to see him in calculus later, gosh."
"Congrats, now go tell him you like him," Jesse says and chuckles, drawing Ava's attention.
"No..." Melanie moans and leans onto the table.
"I mean, you have to take the first step, don't tell me you're waiting for him to tell you he likes you." Elliot shrugs.
Ronnie chews her lunch and says, "text Gaten. 'Meet me after school.' Tell him 'hey I think I have feelings for you.' If he rejects then bye, if he likes you back then happy ending. That's it."
Ava darts her eyes back to Melanie. "It's not that easy!" Melanie says.
Ronnie looks at her boyfriend Liam and blinks. "I mean-"
Ava's eyes shoot from side to side. She returns her gaze to Jesse as he says, "Ok, they're about to kiss, but she just wants to tell you that they're together because one of them shot their shot."
"Well, I know! But how should I do it? It's not like you have done anything like that before." Melanie snaps back.
Ava can see the changes in Jesse's face as he slowly turns his head to Ava. He looks at Ava and gives her an amused smile.
Ava blinks and looks at him as well. "What?" She mumbles under her breath.
Melanie's gaze travels between the two as she raises her eyebrows. She purses her lips and clears her throat. Ava and Jesse snap out of their stare.
Ava crosses her arms, they are squeezed into her body. What does the stare from Jesse mean? Why does he look at her like that?
"Ava?" Melanie pulls Ava back to reality. "How should I tell Gaten?"
Ava widens her eyes and freezes. Everyone in the table is staring at her, waiting for her answer.
"Uh..." she looks at Jesse for help.
"Ava won't tell you, she doesn't even bother." Jesse's words slip without him even noticing.
Ava raises her eyebrows. Jesse is looking at her again, and his eyes are smiling. It is amazing how eyes can tell oneself's emotions, and its impact is immensely larger than words sometimes.
"Uh, yeah?" Ava stutters while blinks as she looks back at Melanie.
Melanie gives Jesse a death stare. "Ava, you're the only one whom I can trust in this table." She looks at Ava desperately.
Ava sucks in a breath and whispers, "I really can't help you."
"Mel, don't force her." Jesse laughs.
Ava looks at Jesse gratefully.
"Ava." Jesse nudges Ava and whispers, "I like your boots."
Jesse's statement startles Ava. "Oh! Thanks." She looks under the table, Jesse is wearing long boots too. "Oh." She laughs.
"Dress code check." Jesse winks.
"Right." A corner of Ava's lips rises. She fidgets and peeks at Jesse.
-
"Hey Math prodigy, how do you do this?" Ava pulls out a Maths worksheet from her pile of work.
Jesse takes the worksheet and starts explaining the answer to her. He leans in and Ava can feel his breath fanning over to the side of her face. The proximity is heart stopping. Jesse's soft voice rings right next to her ears and causes light flutter in her heart.
Ava peeks at his profile while he is writing out the explanation. His nose is high, his eyelashes are long, his lips are of perfect size, not too thick or thin, and his chin's curve is perfect. Ava is amazed, she has never met someone with the perfect face like Jesse's, no matter what angle you look from. His beauty is mind boggling, admirable. She immediately returns her gaze to the Maths worksheet after she notices that she has been distracted.
"Get it?" Jesse tilts his head and looks at Ava.
Ava blinks quickly for a few times and nods. "Yeah." Although she didn't really listen.
Jesse smirks slyly. "Really?"
"Yes." Ava's heart is quivering.
"Alright, good luck." Jesse laughs and returns her paper.
Jesse's smile is gentle and contagious. Ava cannot pull her sight away from Jesse when he smiles. She swallows and takes the paper from his hand, eyes locked on his face.
She breathes in hard, stopping herself from staring and continues with her worksheet.
The paper is now full of Jesse's pencil handwriting. Even his words are beautiful.
Holy shit. What is wrong with me?
Ava's body freezes suddenly. It's coming again. She cannot just rush to the toilet this time in front of Jesse and cry and yell in the toilet. She clenches her fist, inhales and exhales deeply. However, she is feeling better, which astonishes Ava. The fear is gone, but her heart is still pounding, mind still in frenzy.
She looks at Jesse again. The feelings become more significant.
Oh my god. It's Jesse. The feelings come after I stare at him.
But what if he stops talking to her one day? What if he stops being friends with her? She will be all alone again, she will not be sitting here now, she will be in the bathroom stall, she will walk in the hallway alone again, her world will be collapsing, everything will happen again.
Ava turns away immediately, her heart pounding against her ribs.
-
Author's notes:
Hey! Sorry if this is a short chapter and for not updating for a while, writer block kinda sucks. I've never imagined someone actually clicking into this book and reading it, thank you so much for that!
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Paralyzed Love ✓
Teen Fiction[The Fiction Awards 2020 Winner in Diverse Fiction!] Jesse is paralyzed from his waist down, but he makes sure he gets what he wants, for he has already lost too many things in his life. Yet when he finally gets to meet Ava, who has anxiety and depr...
