Lost Too Much 【REDONE】 ║ Daryl/OC or Shane/OC

Chapter 55: The good always gets buried by the bad.

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(1-362 AV --- 727 AV) My last entry was 12 days ago. A lot happened right after that entry, and overall, I just didn't feel like writing about anything that happened. Good things came from that trip that day, but some bad came following right after.

For starters, I left for a run with Shane right after my last entry. Run went well on our part, and I even found a cat that I named Dixie. Great, right? Well, Rick and Daryl found a whole person on their run. His name is Jesus and he introduced us to a whole new civilization called the Hilltop a bit away from here. I was put in charge of talking to their leader, Gregory, and we didn't exactly get on well at first. After some of his people returned from a trip and one tried to kill him, I killed that man, and I was given a second chance to talk to him later, make a deal, all that. Now, this is where things got good, right in between all of these events.

First of all, Daryl and I had sex for the first time after that run the other day. Sparing unneeded details, Shane seemed to figure it out the next morning and he was not happy about it, but whatever. Skipping to Hilltop, though, something great happened right after I killed that guy that tried to kill Gregory. A little girl ran into me [Bella] and she knew Daryl, and when her mother came looking for her, we discovered that Michelle is alive. Then Chad came out, too. They confirmed Clark's alive, but he's with the Saviors. Yeah, that's where the bad starts.

We struck up a new deal with Gregory after hearing this story about a man named Negan that killed one of the Hilltop's people and took half of their supplies. He now continues taking from them in exchange for him and his people letting them live, which is bullshit. We declared that we'd take out the Saviors for half of what the Hilltop has now and we'd let them alone permanently, not come back and threaten them. Gregory agreed to this, we took some food and stuff home with us, and Maggie and I saw a doctor there and got ultrasounds. Maggie got to see her baby for the first time and I got to see mine for what will probably be the last before he's born. Michelle, Chad, and Bella came back to Alexandria to see Merle again and Michelle and Shane started hitting it off, I think. I don't know where they're at. Michelle and Chad went back to Hilltop so that was short-lived but whatever.

We attacked one of the Saviors' bases soon after that. The August's helped, even. Maggie, Carol, and I stayed outside the perimeter and that ultimately seemed to be the worst possible decision. We were kidnapped by some Saviors, three women and a man. It all went to hell in there, but we made it out untouched and killed them all. Well, we were untouched physically. Carol didn't seem very okay by the time we left and I could see it if I was worrying some people, even now. I had experienced some flashbacks and by the time we were out of there, I had run out of energy to give a shit. I shot Primo dead without a second thought. It definitely looked bad, at least.

Aside from all of that, we started planning more attacks. We haven't actually gone through with any yet but it's in the makes. Morgan finished making the jail cell in the townhouse a bit ago, and just yesterday, it seemed like Rosita and Spencer were into each other. I don't know when it started and I don't even know when Abraham and Rosita broke up, but it made sense because Abraham had been hanging around Sasha a lot more. That's not any of my business, though. I have my own things going on, getting ready to give birth within the next week or so.

The nursery is completely done, painted, and everything. Daryl and I have been really happy. Shane got over his childish feelings from all the stuff that happened and we're okay now. Dixie has fully settled in to being here and everything feels normal again. I'm still a little off, I'll admit. I can't seem to allow myself to relax anymore, in the sense that I'm paranoid or maybe even scared. I haven't been going out since the day we got kidnapped, and I'm not sure if I'm afraid it'll happen again or if I'm scared something will happen that'll trigger whatever the hell went on in there to flood back to me. I kept seeing those flashbacks of the Claimers doing what they did, and even flashbacks of me killing them. It was scary, and it changed me... even if only for the moment.