Losing Our Battles- A Vikklan, Merome and Poofless Story

⋐Chapter 24 [Lachlan]⋑

Lachlan's P.O.V.

I had ended up back at home, despite everything that mum had said and done before I left to the hospital, after wandering around town aimlessly for quite a few hours. Mitch was panicked when I walked in the front door, on the phone to dad I think, and he threw his arms around my neck but I couldn't help it when I pushed him off. He had been apart of this after all, allowing me to be admitted to that bloody hospital and doing nothing to stop the rest of my family.

Before Vikk arrived I had spent a few days hidden up in my room, staring at the wall or at the menacing bottles of pills that I had set on my nightstand. I still flat out refused to take them. I was still unsure which one had made forget a significant portion of my day and I didn't want to test that, so I just didn't take any of them to avoid that again. I didn't eat, I barely drank anything and I didn't shower either. All I could do was lie on my bed with my eyes closed.

I was home alone when Vikk showed up and for a little while I considered not even answering the door, but I finally dragged myself to see who it was. The older boy looked a mess, hair tousled and tears falling down his cheeks, nothing with him other than his phone and the clothes on his back. I had to let him in- I wasn't about to leave him out in the cold.

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After my episode, one of the only clear thoughts I had was that Vikk would try and convince me to get on my meds. Of course, he didn't know the effects they had on me, that some made me dizzy, that some made me slur my words and one of them, the really strong one, made me forget huge portions of my day. I didn't want to take them.

Turns out, I was right.

It came about an hour after I woke up from the nap I had had after I explained to Vikk what was going on during those episodes and although I was tired, I was awake and mostly functional. Well, as functional as I was going to get considering my diagnosis.

"Lachlan... I really think you need to take your medication." I pursed my lips and vehemently shook my head, looking away from him. "The doctors gave it to you for a reason and that reason is to help with your episodes, to either stop them or help lessen the symptoms."

Again I shook my head, burying my head in my knees.

"I don't want to take them." I whispered. "They make me confused. They make me forget things."

"But don't you forget things anyway?" Vikk asked gently, sitting up and moving closer to me. "I think it's just fear Lachlan and I think you'll be surprised that it might help you."

I looked at him for a moment and again tried to shake my head, but Vikk continued to insist. I didn't feel like arguing so for the moment I shut down, staring blankly at the wall while Vikk tried to get my attention. I could ignore him for now, but I knew it would come up again later.

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I had to give in. Vikk was so insistent to just try them, see if it wasn't as bad as it was before when I had had them in the psychiatric hospital, so after a couple of hours of his gentle prodding while I was feeling like actual shit, I relented and said I would take them.

Vikk read each of the four bottles and in the end handed me 7 little pills, most of a different shape and colour and all making my heart race. I didn't want to take them but I still did, if only to make Vikk happy. I honestly didn't think that I would react any differently to the medication than I did back then considering it was only days ago but if it got Vikk to get off my back then I didn't mind.

And, of course, almost immediately I began to feel the symptoms. I was incredibly lightheaded so went to lie down on my bed again, but there were other symptoms as well. My appetite was still non-existent, possibly a side effect too, my limbs felt heavy and weak, I was sleepy and if I spoke I knew my voice would be slurred. On top of all of that, I knew I was already forgetting stuff. Vikk would be talking, I'd blink and he'd be lying on his phone or sleeping. It'd be 11am, a blink, then it was 4pm.

No, no, no. This couldn't be happening.

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There was this fuzzy memory that I didn't remember until later, which finally explained what had happened. I woke up and I was alone, Vikk and his belongings no longer there, and I had no recollection of what might have happened, if anything happened at all. Had he just upped and left? Had he gone out to get something and would come back soon? But now- hours passed and he didn't come back, and the sun dawned on the next day. He was gone.

What had happened?

It took almost until that next evening, almost 30 hours since I had taken that pill, before I began to remember. I must have fallen asleep and woken up a few hours later saying something strange, because Vikk came over to my bed. He looked a little puzzled but I had no idea what I had said, so I couldn't decipher his confusion, but I did know that I was being very grabby. He seemed to let me though, even pulling me onto his lap so I could rest my head on his shoulder. We stayed this way for a while and he even began to run his hand through my hair.

I didn't know how it escalated quite so fast, it might have been a gap in my memory, but the next thing I remembered was Vikk leaning over and kissing me and I was... kissing back?

But then he was gone. It took a moment to piece together what had happened after that kiss but then I remembered his face. Disgust, but... with himself? Fear, anger, shock? Had he felt like he had taken... taken advantage of me? It didn't even seem like a real thought but the more I thought about the look of shock and horror on his face, the way he looked down at his hands and then back up at me. I must have been acting pretty drugged up by that point.

I remembered seeing him get up off my bed, shaking, and grabbing his phone and hoodie. Then I blinked, and he was gone. He had left because he had kissed me, because I had been acting like I wanted him to, and I had wanted him to kiss me, but because of the drugs I hadn't been in my right mind. He had only realised that afterwards. And so... he left.

Where had he gone? Would he be okay?