roommate. wooyoung

THIRTY-SIX

WOOYOUNG —

The sun has already set and I was in my bedroom sitting on my bed with the lights on. I sat there still thinking about what Nari said to me. Just thinking about it made me anxious. It made my skin crawl. Her words truly hurt. All of my years trying to find someone who would be there for me, I found the one. Well, I at least thought I found the one.

Does Miyeon actually like me or does she only care for me because she felt bad for me?

I cursed to myself and decided to get up and take my medication to calm me down. I walked out of my bedroom and went in the kitchen. I took out a glass cup from the cupboard and poured half a cup of sink water. Then, I opened another cupboard and took out the bottle that was sitting there waiting for me. I took out a couple pill and popped them in my mouth. I picked up my glass of water and drunk it all down.

I heard shuffling behind me and turned my head to see Miyeon, still in her day clothes, half asleep. She rubbed her eyes before letting out a yawn, "Wooyoung, what are you still doing up?"

"I forgot to take my medicine," I answered.

"Oh, I see. Sorry for not sleeping with you tonight, I fell asleep while I was tidying up my bedroom," she chuckles.

I nodded my head, "it's fine, I was going to go to sleep."

"Are you going to try and sleep by yourself tonight?"

I nodded my head once again, "yeah."

Miyeon gave me a smile, "alright, if you need anything, I'll be a door away."

"Thanks,"

She waved her hand before she disappeared back in her room. I stood there, alone, still holding the glass of water I finished before she walked in. I shook my head and put the glass in the sink before going in my room. Once I closed my bedroom door, I pressed my back against it and stared at my bed.

Can I do this? I thought to myself. I pursed my lips and clenched my jaw, I got to do this. I have to try.

I turned the light switch down so that the lights cut off and I was engulfed in the darkness that was the corner of my bedroom. When I dragged my feet to my bed and went under the covers, the only light that I had was from the moon and I stared at it. After a couple minutes of staring at the ceiling, I felt my eyelids go down until I fell asleep.

Broken.

Broken.

Broken.

Nari's voice kept going through my head.

Then suddenly, I was teleported to a white room. There was nothing here. It was just a plain white room.

It seemed like I was the only one in the room but I was wrong. A familiar velvet voice caught my attention behind me and I turned on my heels and saw Miyeon.

"You look so stressed, what's wrong, Wooyoung, is something the matter?" She tilted her head to the side.

I went over to her and shook my head, "no, nothing's the matter."

She pouted and creased her brows together, "something's going on, Wooyoung, I can tell. Don't you remember what I said? You can talk to me."

"I know," I said, suddenly feeling tears dropping one by one down my face, "I know but it's not that easy. I'm just afraid that — "

"What are you afraid of, Wooyoung? Afraid that I'll walk away and leave you to suffer on your own? Because if you didn't know, I've thought of it before. Like, remember when you went through an episode when we were at the fair? I was so scared, actually. The same night I found out about what happened to you in the past. I actually didn't want to live with someone who was broken."

I pushed her back with round eyes. She stumbled back with her head hung low. It was quiet until I heard her softly chuckling that quickly turned into a laughing fit.

"You just don't get it, do you? You only want me because you've always wanted to feel a special feeling that you couldn't experience when you were younger. Love," she clicked her tongue and shook her head, "Nari was right, I don't want to be with someone who's broken like you. You're just a burden," she came close enough that our chest was touching, "a burden who's living a double nightmare."

I woke up with cold sweat all around my body. I was breathing really hard. I heard heavy steps coming towards my bedroom and saw Miyeon, my Miyeon, at the door with a scared look on her face.

"Wooyoung, are you okay?"

"Miyeon," my voice broke. I buried my face in my hands and let out all of my emotions. God, I am pathetic.

My ears twitched when I heard Miyeon walking over to me. The bed dipped on the side of me and I knew Miyeon was there. I felt her caressing the back of my head ever so slowly and gently.

"Hey, it's okay, I'm here now," she reassured me with her soft, yet warm voice.

Without thinking, I grabbed her and pulled her in for a hug despite that I was covered in sweat.

"Can we just stay like this for a moment?" I said with my voice quivering.

I felt her arms snake around my body and she gently squeezed me, "as long as you want."