INTERIM LOVER, ryan howard.

018 ⋮ returning to scranton

this chapter was inspired by the song 'moving on' by sarah and the sundays (linked above). have a listen!

—

ㅤㅤㅤRachel hadn't anticipated moving back to Scranton so soon. The real estate market wasn't looking too bright, so she found herself lodging at Jim's house for the time being. She was surprised that he hadn't invited Karen to stay, considering they were now dating—news that was still very fresh to Rachel, and she had to do a double take every time she remembered this fact. She was happy for him, she reflected. Even if she had always hoped it would be Jim and Pam, if Karen made him happy, then she was satisfied.

"Hurry up, slow poke, or we'll be late for our first day back!" Jim called as he exited the house.

—

PAM
Yes! I'm in a good mood today! I'm excited to meet all the new people and to see my old friends again. Boy, have I missed Jim and Rachel.

—

Many new faces were coming through the door, but there was still no sign of Rachel. Ryan anxiously tapped his pencil against his desk, earning a scolding from Dwight.

"No way," Michael laughed, earning his attention. "Get them out of here. We don't want any of this kind in here. Good to see you, Jimbo and Rach!"

The two awkwardly smiled at their new-old boss as he introduced himself to Martin. They stepped forward to the receptionist's desk, Rachel clearing her throat.

"Uhm, hi. We're new employees—"

"Oh my god!" The small woman sped out of her chair, embracing the two friends she'd missed most. "I can't believe you're here! I can't believe you both left."

Jim and Rachel exchanged a guilty glance, then returned Pam's hug.

"It's so good to be back," Rachel noted, taking in the distinct smell of coffee and fresh printing at the office. Nothing had really changed, not even from the day she started. Not even the people had changed, except maybe Pam.

"Look what the cat dragged in from Stamford."

Dwight certainly hadn't changed. And that was perfect, because Rachel was already thinking up a hundred new pranks to pull on him. But Ryan might have. For starters, the placard on his desk did not read 'Ryan Howard - Temp', but 'Ryan Howard - Junior Sales Assistant'. "Someone's graduated from being the Temp," Rachel mused. 

He might have blushed. "Welcome back, El."

For the first time in a couple of months, they were able to share eye contact. It was powerful as always, but now with an undertone of agreement and understanding.

And just like that, the butterflies were back again. If she wasn't so cautious, she might have let herself fall for those eyes again.

"Hey, Dwight. Ryan."

Jim was standing behind Ryan, watching over his shoulder. It seemed to Rachel that he would be lost if he wasn't able to reclaim his old desk.

"Hey, buddy. Welcome back."

"Jimbo and Rachie, you've got to tell us your stories of Stamford!" Michael called from the other side of the room. "Ryan, I want Jim and Rachel to sit in their old spots, and you can move to the Annex with Kelly. Just like the good old days!"

She was simultaneously relieved and upset that Ryan was moved to the Annex. For starters, she wanted to talk to him like they used to, but with Kelly guarding him, she knew it would be impossible to even visit the Annex. On the other hand, she wouldn't have to be riddled with guilt every five seconds looking over at him.

—

RYAN
I just can't win, can I?

—

Whenever Michael called a meeting, Rachel was always one of the last in. Sluggishly, she got up and made her way to the conference room, only to be yanked aside by someone.

"Ryan?"

"I was wondering if you wanted to go grab a bite or something? Catch up maybe? It's been a while."

Her stomach flipped. Why his simple request had made her nervous, she couldn't explain. Hadn't she wanted this all along? Hadn't she dreamt of the day Ryan would finally ask her out?

"We don't really have to go to that meeting. I mean, you're not really a new employee anyways."

"You're still with Kelly, aren't you?"

"What— no, I mean yes. But it'll be fine."

—

Rachel admitted that she was disappointed. Some naive part of her expected that coming back to Scranton might restore the relationships she left behind, but if anything, her departure had torn holes that were irreparable.

"I'm working on a new project," Ryan started for possibly the twelfth time. "It's a cross-portal messaging system..."

Ryan had changed— that was an understatement. She had caught a glimpse of a man with ambitions, drive and hope, though he used to lack bravery. Now she was talking to someone who was almost completely a stranger to her, dangerously filled with confidence but lacking the character she used to admire in him. She wondered if it was Kelly who had changed him so drastically, and for the worse.

"I think we should be getting back," Rachel said suddenly. Frankly, she was disinterested in his get-rich-quick schemes, though she had no doubt he'd be successful someday. It just wasn't Ryan Howard.

Who was he trying to be?

The trek back to the office was almost silent. He couldn't even meet her eyes. Ryan knew that he had botched the plan somewhere along the way. Perhaps it was in revealing too many of his ideas, or not mentioning enough how rich he would be. Maybe he should've added that he wanted a wife and three kids. He wanted her.

The timing was just right. People were exiting the conference room. Before he could thank her, Kelly called Ryan's name and immediately rushed to his embrace.

Rachel sighed. It was time for her to move on. There was nothing left to salvage here.