INTERIM LOVER, ryan howard.

033 ⋮ running for the cure

ㅤㅤㅤAccording to Michael Scott, a woman shouldn't have to be hit by a car to learn that she might have rabies. But with the American healthcare system, this was the harsh reality that many women—mothers, grandmothers, young girls, newborns alike—were faced with on a daily basis.

So the Regional Manager of the Scranton branch decided to host a fundraising event called "Michael Scott's Dunder-Mifflin, Scranton, Meredith Palmer Memorial, Celebrity Rabies Awareness, Fun Run Race for the Cure" to raise awareness that there was indeed a cure to rabies, amongst the most fatal diseases in the US. Few people were blessed with such knowledge, and he had to make it more known to the world.

(And just to clarify, Meredith had not passed away since our last update and was recovering remarkably well under the care of Dr Richard Rhode. Michael had probably included her name as another beg for her forgiveness, which she was continuing to refuse him.)

"Hi Stankley, how many sponsors so far?" Michael asked, putting on a face for the cameras. Much to his horror, the answer was still none. On the bright side, Phyllis' rabies quilt was coming along— there were already three patches with the menacing faces of rabies carriers.

Meanwhile, Oscar and Rachel had been unfortunately interrupted by Andy, who was complaining of nipple chafing. "Once it starts, it is a vicious circle. If you have sensitive nipples, they chafe, so they become more sensitive, so they chafe more," he explained, throwing his hands up. "Oscar, guy to guy, how do you do it? Or is it different for you?"

Oscar narrowed his eyes. "How would it be different?"

Andy's volume dropped immensely. "Well, you know, being gay you have a different... set up. And you're Mexican."

"Andy," Rachel stepped in before matters could get any worse, "just go to the store and buy nipple tape."

His eyes seemed to double in size. "I can't do that! I'm a guy, Rachel!"

"Would you rather wear a sports bra?"

"No!"

She raised a brow. Andy groaned and dragged himself out of the breakroom, restoring peace to the world. Oscar seemed impressed. "So, I see Richard's teaching you a thing or two— in and out of the sheets I assume."

"Oscar!" she hissed, turning beet red. "Number one, we do not discuss my sex life in the office, and two, he taught me nothing about chafing. Andy is just an idiot."

"Not that I care for the details, but it's hard to believe that nothing happened that night you ditched us here?"

"You make me sound like I betrayed you."

"If you didn't have the best sex of your life and still left me to celebrate an uncivilised Halloween with these people? That would be betrayal."

Rachel rose from her seat, deciding to get dressed for Michael's stupid event. "You'd better watch your mouth, Martinez."

—

ANDY
[taping cotton balls to each nipple]
I'm taking precautions.

—

By lunch, much to Michael's surprise, the office had raised seven hundred dollars. Five hundred had come from him and Jan, but surprisingly, the remaining two hundred had been rounded up by Rachel. According to Kelly and Andy, she was seeing a doctor who worked both locally in Scranton, and spent some weeks in New York. Michael guessed that the generous donation had come from her super rich boyfriend.