Heart to Hart ✔️

32. The end of summer

"What?" I could feel the colour draining from my face as an ice-cold chill ran down my back. Even knowing it was coming, I wasn't prepared. I needed more time. Like a deer caught in the headlights of an oncoming vehicle, I couldn't move or look away. I prayed I had misheard him.

"Move in with me-" Alec soothed my creased forehead with his thumb and tugged me closer- "I don't want this to end or to have to go through a long-distance relationship. You can live in my flat and we can-"

"I-, I can't," I interrupted. My heart nearly stopped and my body trembled.

His eyes flashed with terror. "Why? I love you. And you love me too. We don't need to be apart."

My head pounded with an oncoming headache and my stomach swirled as he ran his fingers down my arms to circle them around my wrists. This wasn't how I imagined my day going. We were meant to be celebrating my sister's eighteenth birthday and making the most of our time together. Alec had weeks left before he was heading off to university or so I believed.

"I love you. Oh Alec, I really love you and you have to trust me on that, but we're so young. We don't need to rush anything." My throat stung as I spoke, my voice barely above a whisper. His gaze dropped to the floor for a split second before it held mine again. My heart sank as I took in the tears he held back. My own eyes mirrored his as my vision blurred.

Alec pushed away from me and turned around, fisting his hair in frustration. "It shouldn't be this hard," he muttered before turning back, wiping his eyes. "You weren't going to stay in Hawkley forever, so why not move now? With me? What's stopping you? You have no plans for your future. Make plans there. Make plans with me," he begged, his voice breaking on each word. He balled his fists by his side and gritted his teeth. I watched as my best friend broke into pieces. All I wanted to do was give him the answer he expected, to see him happy, but I would be lying to the both of us if I did that.

A weight settled in my heart as I found some courage to speak my truth. "That's just the thing. Cambridge is your future, your plan. Not mine. I haven't had the chance to think about it." I wrapped my arms around myself. "I don't want to end up like my mum and follow a boy blindly with no goals of my own. I want it to be my choice. I need it to be my choice."

"I'm not just some boy," he huffed in exasperation. "We could be really happy, but it looks like you've already made your mind up." His chest rose and fell with rapid breaths as tears finally escaped the corners of his eyes.

"You're not listening to me, Alec. Give me some time." I reached out to place my hand on his crossed arms, but he flinched at the contact.

He glanced at the closed gate of the play park and left towards it.

"Why are you walking away? It doesn't have to be over." My throat tightened and sadness tore at my chest.

He blew out a harsh breath. "It already feels like it is. Don't follow me. I need to think."

"Alec, don't do this. Alec," I shouted after him.

Slouching down on the swing seat, I slapped my hand over my mouth to stop my ragged cries. My hair flicked into my face, the wind picking up, and I angrily wiped the strands away as they stuck to my wet cheeks.

Alec was always so patient and loving, but that wasn't the Alec that had just walked away from me.

I sat there until darkness surrounded me, the road home illuminated by a sparse line-up of street lights.

I heard the rustling of footsteps through the playground but struggled to look up.

I stared at the floor, Rosie's trainers appeared under my nose. She crouched down in front of me to grab my attention. "Let's get you home. You've been out here for hours," she murmured, stroking my hair behind my shoulder.