REHAB [5SOS]

FRAGILE

FRAGILE

Calum

Zayn wasn't much of a talker, so Calum decided he'd best go explore his hallway a bit to keep himself occupied.

He walked down the hall slowly, hands in his pockets. Most of the doors he passed were closed.

Suddenly, a door flew open, catching him on the shoulder.

"Ow, fuck!" Calum yelped, rubbing his arm.

"Oh, oh, I'm so sorry! Dang it, uh, are you okay?"

A tiny girl was peeking around the edge of the door, looking at Calum with wide, horrified eyes. "I'm so sorry," she said again when he met her eyes.

He shrugged and rolled his shoulders. "I'm fine. I was just surprised," he assured her.

She nodded. "Okay, gosh, I'm so sorry." She pushed a lock of black hair behind her ear. "You're new here, aren't you? I haven't seen you before."

Calum nodded. "Yeah, I just got here."

She nodded. "Yeah." She held out her hand, and Calum was shocked to see how skinny her arm was. "I'm Rose."

"Rose," he repeated, taking her hand. She felt extremely fragile, like she might snap if he clutched her hand too hard. "I'm Calum."

"Nice to meet you," she said shyly, smiling.

Calum couldn't help but be distracted by how thin she was. Unnaturally skinny.

"Um, is there anywhere more comfortable to chat?" Calum asked, shoving his hand back into his pocket. "It's kind of awkward with the door between us."

Rose looked startled, as if she hadn't realized she was still half hidden by the door. "Oh, yeah, they've got a rec room a little ways down." She turned back into the room and said, "Hey Hazelle, I'm going to go to the rec room, okay?"

"Whatever," a bored voice replied from somewhere inside the room.

Rose hopped out from behind the door, closing it behind her. The rest of her was as alarmingly fragile-looking as her arm. He had no idea how she was standing on her own. "Ready to go?" she asked.

Calum, realizing he was gawking, blinked quickly and nodded. "Er, yeah," he said, his eyebrows wrinkling in concern.

She frowned, catching his expression. "Is something wrong?" Rose asked.

Clearly.

Calum just shook his head. "Uh, no, just thinking," he murmured, consciously clearing his expression.

Rose pursed her lips but didn't say anything, instead turning and leading the way to the rec room. It was just a large, circular room with various couches, tables and chairs, and bean bags scattered around. "Not much, but sometimes, a lot better than the rooms," Rose said, dropping down onto a couch.

Calum sat gingerly next to her, almost afraid that any violent motion would break her.

She was just so fragile...

"I'm not porcelain, you know," Rose whispered, interrupting Calum's thoughts.

His cheeks heated slightly in shame at being caught. "Sorry," he apologized, "I just-"

"Yeah, I know." She blew out a breath. "It took a month of everyone looking at me the exact way you're looking at me for me to realize why everyone was staring at me." She sighed heavily, twining her thin fingers together and gave Calum a rueful smile. "That's why I'm here."

Calum said, "You don't have to say anything."

Rose shrugged her bony shoulders and said, "Honesty is a part of my therapy." She took a deep breath. "Anorexia," she murmured, wincing slightly. She pushed a lock of hair back behind her ear. "And bulimia." She frowned, scratching her knee. "Eating disorder." She looked up at Calum, her beautiful brown eyes troubled. "I've only been here a week, and I know they're trying to help. They're trying to get me to eat more and keep it down. They're trying to help me gain weight again."

"You deserve to be healthy," Calum said quietly.

Rose shrugged again, pulling her legs up to her chest. She was curling into herself, and even though he'd just met her, Calum had the strangest protective urge to wrap his arms carefully around her.

"I know I do, deep down," she muttered, staring at the floor. "I know that it's not right, what I used to do. But that makes it worse, sometimes." She glanced at Calum and then looked back down. "It makes everything worse. I feel bad about how I look, so I don't eat, and then I feel bad about not eating, and it's just this vicious cycle." Rose took a deep, shuddering breath.

"Rose, you don't have to-""

She silenced him with a solemn look up at him. "I went from a fat girl to a skinny freak," she continued, upset. "I thought I'd be happier if I were thin," she whispered, her pale lips barely moving. "So why aren't I happy?"

Calum wished he had an answer for her. He really wished he did.

He knew if he told Rose he thought she was beautiful, she'd think he was lying.

Even if he wasn't.

[A/N IMPORTANT!

This chapter is extremely important to me and hopefully, to you as well. The standards for body image that society has placed on people, boys and girls alike, are unbelievable. And there is an unbelievable pressure to conform to these standards. Although I know it's impossible to completely forget about these ideals, personally I have been trying to remind myself as often as possible that these ideals are exactly that: ideals. They are not feasibly realistic body types for every single person. Everyone is different. Some people are born with the body type, others are not. But regardless, everything ought to be embraced, loved and celebrated.

If you haven't guessed by this point, the girls in this story won't just be silly love interests, but reflections of various aspects of society I find to be problematic, especially for girls. They aren't going to be perfect girls with perfect bodies, hair, eyes and pasts. One thing I beg you to keep in mind as you read on is that these girls are not meant to be beautiful, perfect girls that seem to star in many fanfictions, but rather, girls that aren't perfect that the boys still manage to find beauty in.

Love you lots.

Hannah xx.]