𝐭𝐦𝐧𝐭 𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐭𝐬

𝐑𝐚𝐩𝐡 𝐱 𝐃𝐞𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐝 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

Requested by @SaltyPancakesSSO

Title: Cheap Mascara

TW: Mentions of self harm

I sat on my bed and stared at the dark wall. I could hear my phone going off in the background as someone called me repeatedly. I sighed and slumped over so I could read who it was.

Raphael. My best friend and secret crush.

He'd known about my depression for a while, but didn't get why I had it. When we had first met I had been happy and all over the place but that was when my depression was on a little "break". That next week, I was back to being sad and he was constantly mad because of it.

"Why can't you just be happy?" he'd yell at me and I would just smile and shrug sadly. I know he wasn't really mad, he was confused. He didn't like things he couldn't understand, and my depression was one of those things.

Suddenly, my phone lit up with a notification and I picked it up. A text from Raph saying he would be over in a few. I sighed and stood up to make sure my apartment was clean. Just as I had finished, there was a knock on my window and then the sound of it sliding up. I sat down heavily on my couch and dropped a bowl of popcorn down beside me.

"Hey, (y/n)." Raph greeted, dropping down beside me. I smiled and handed him the bowl, grabbing the remote. I was about to turn the t.v. on, but my hand was stopped by another putting the remote back on the coffee table.

"Raph?" I questioned, looking at him as he put the popcorn on the table and turned to stare at me. He put a hand up to my face and stared into my eyes as I tried not to meet his.

"Why are you hurting?" he asked and my eyes shot up towards his.

"What?" I whispered and he groaned and stood up. He ran his hands down his face and looked at me as he quickly swallowed a handful of popcorn.

"What's wrong with you? You're always sad, you never smile, and don't think I haven't noticed those slashes you're putting on your wrists." he pointed to me and I shrunk back. So, this wouldn't be the fantasy of him finding out and crying with me as he kissed my cuts and told me to never do it again.

Then again, this was Raphael, he wouldn't cry for anything. Or anyone.

Especially me.

"Just tell me what's wrong. We'll fix it." he grabbed my hands and I scoffed, quickly growing angry.

"Fix it. Fix it, yeah. Okay." I mocked as he let go of me and narrowed his eyes. "What I have isn't something you can fix with brute force or whatever it is you're thinking of doing, Raphael. This is me! This is who I am!"

"So you've just accepted that this, this is who you are?" he gave me a disgusted look.

"No, I've accepted that this is who I am because there's no getting better. Don't you get it, Raph? I'm not getting better, I'm never going to get better!"

"Says you! What about what the rest of us have to say? Huh? You don't think Leo wants you to get better? Me? Donnie? You think we wanna see you like this? You think we want Mikey to see you like this? A shell of the person we know you are? Because if that's what you think then I guess you're more alone than you thought."

I sat in silence at his words. He was right. He was so right.

"I-I..." I gasped and squeezed my eyes shut as tears suddenly began running down my face. I quickly looked up at Raph and moved my eyes down as I saw him just staring at me. He had a tick in his jaw, his arms were crossed, and his eyes burned as they stared into my soul. Then, my eyes began burning horribly as I stood up and ran to the bathroom.

"(Y/n)?" I heard Raph call as I ran down the hallway. I looked at my eyes and saw that I had gotten eyeliner in them.

"Stupid cheap makeup." I muttered bitterly as I grabbed a makeup wipe. After I had wiped my face down and was free to cry without feeling like my eyes were going to fall outta my head, I turned around to see Raphael standing right behind me.

"(Y/n)." he said seriously as he trapped his arms around me and locked his fingers onto the sink. I crossed my arms and stared at him as he did the same. Suddenly, he lunged forward and gently took my face in his hands. He quickly pressed his lips to mine and then pulled back before I had a chance to react.

"Don't do it anymore as long as I'm with you." he whispered and I gave a small grin.

"As long as you're with me?" I asked and he playfully rolled his eyes.

"In case you haven't heard princess, I'm you're new boyfriend." he pointed to himself and I threw my arms around his huge form. He stood shocked for a second before gathering me up in his arms.

"Every day I tell you I love you is another day you keep that blade away from your body. Okay?" he whispered into my ear and I nodded silently.

"Hey, (y/n)?" he said after a while. I hummed and held him tighter.

"I love you."

"I love you too."

++++++++++

I'm doing better now and I'm trying to update and get as many requests done as possible cuz I have three people that want to request and next week I'm getting out for Christmas break and I'm getting a new phone so I'm not gonna wanna update. But, thank y'all so much for getting me to 6k reads and please keep reading and commenting (I love what y'all say btw) and vote please!

But, on a more serious note, I tried to not put cuts or suicidal thoughts in this story because I hate reading about it and I know how bad some people suffer because of it. I personally don't have depression, but I know someone that does, and I know for a fact that it's not fun. If you ever need someone to talk to, please please dm me. I'm always around!

Thanks!

look at me finally putting tw on my stuff