Poems

Dear Mom

Disclaimer- this is basically a rant with no rhyme or reason.

Dear Mom,
Today I told you how I felt, you know of this struggle cause I told you before but you don't listen you just say it's hormones.
I'm drowning in my thoughts and I don't know how to tell you I can't stand it sometimes, I wonder why I'm still here. I told you it's not the hormones and then you say it's my personality. I didn't know that this was a personality trait. I didn't know that feeling numb, and cutting was a personality trait. I didn't know that sometimes wondering why I'm still here because no one would care if I left was a personality trait. I can't express how angry i get inside when I hear this. You're taking a thing a struggle with something that will pass.

I remember coming home that day the counselor said that he thought I had depression, you know what you did? You laughter and told me I didn't. I laughed and played along and that is on me because I was to scared to stand up for what I believed was the truth. You also said I cant have depression because I was always happy. You know how hard that is to hear when you have been wearing a happy face. I still have to wear this happy face sometimes because I don't want anyone to see what it's like inside.

I've touched on this before on how I feel like I'm drowning in my thoughts but you don't understand how bad it gets. You've only read one of my poems you only read a little piece of my mind if you read it all you would be as crazy as I am.

There is a room in my house that no one will see. It's the darkest deepest room in my mansion. The darkest part of my brain that I'm to scared to show because even my closest would would never stay but go. They would be afraid of me, too scared to come close.