//- now before I begin, i'm sorry for not updating, I had a lot going on and i'll try not to let it happen again ⛤
What?? An UPDATE? I know right- Now, try not to bust my balls too much- I'm about to teach you how to stalk your future wife or husband! Now in the first 'How To Stalk Your Crush 101' I could tell some of you didn't think said methods would be effective or would be illegal! But I promise you- IF YOU BELIEVE , YOU CAN ACHIEVE! Now, shall we begin?
Method 1- Slash their tires!
Say you want to take your future relationship to the next level! How about slashing their tires, cutting their phone line and effectively stranding them! Then,, you would have total privacy to go into their home, knock them into sleepy time and take them back to your basement! They are sure to enjoy the thoughtful date you planned out!
Method 2- Hide under their bed!
Just think about it,, sleeping RIGHT underneath them! So romantic! Then, when they are fast asleep you could crawl in right next to them. Breathe in their sheets and enjoy the warmth of their body,, The heat from their skin,, The pounding of their heart as they feel the ice from your breath . .
Imagine cutting them open and crawling up inside-
Y U M M Y! ♡
Method 3- Kill your crush's significant other! ♡
Now I know what your saying,,
'Jen- That's illegal! Wouldn't that make your victim- I mean, Crush, hate you even more??'
Now to that I say, NO. That BITCH IS IN THE WAY OF YOUR LOVE! THEY MUST DIE! DIE! DIE! !̶!̶ə̶ı̶ρ̶ ⛤⛤⛤ The method is quite simple! You find out where their partner works, follow them to their car, hide in the back seat, aND SLASH THEIR THROAT AS YOU WATCH THE BLOOD POUR OUT AND YOU DIG YOUR FINGERS INTO THEIR EXPOSED ESOPHAGUS!! . .
Anyways, your future wife or husband won't hate you! But- in the case that they do the solution is simple-
BREAK THEIR ANKLES, TIE THEM UP, AND MAKE THEM SEE THE TRUTH.
Good luck! :)
-The Queen
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