The Fallen

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Ithaca, New York

2019

Hale and I sat eating for awhile. We didn't want to risk getting Felix and Nora's notes dirty with our greasy fingers, so we decided that we would put the last letter on hold while we finished our food. The awkward moments from earlier vanished, our usual chatter replacing them.

"Why can't I stop eating this pizza even though it isn't even very good?"

I glanced over at Hale, laughing at his comment until I noticed movement through the window just past his shoulder.

"Hale, it's snowing!" I pushed back the curtain to see out the frosted glass behind the couch.  Pressing my nose against the cold pane, I admired the flakes as they hit the ground for the first time this season. There was already a considerable amount on the ground; it must have been snowing for at least an hour, and we hadn't even realized.

Hale popped up next to me with a smile. He glanced over and asked, "Do you want to go outside?"

I quickly leaned back, realizing how ridiculous I probably looked. I was acting like a child that had never seen snow before when, in reality, snow was now the thing that I cursed at during my morning commutes. So I looked back at Hale and shook my head. "No, we don't need to-"

"Let's go!" Hale was already striding across my living room. He picked up his coat from where he had left it by the door and was shrugging it on.

"You really want to go outside?" I asked skeptically.

"Of course," he said simply. "It is the first snow of the year. It's like... a must, isn't it?"

As he was zipping up his coat, I saw a flash of the eleven-year-old Hale that used to run around and build forts with me in the snowbanks on the side of the road. The broad smile that he was using as he looked at me only enhanced the memories. Not for the first time, I wondered how we had grown so old so quickly.

At times, it felt like adulthood had been sprung on me. How come days seemed to crawl by, but I couldn't keep up with the years?

I suppose I could still will myself to find magic in the little things, even though I had grown up. In fact, that was probably what I needed most right now.

Following Hale, I grabbed my navy peacoat and buttoned myself into it before tugging my boots on.

"Don't forget your hat!" Hale said, flinging something maroon and woolen at me. It wasn't what I would have picked for warmth since it didn't come down to cover my ears, but I shrugged and jammed the bucket hat over my dark wavy hair.

After we had sufficiently bundled ourselves up, Hale and I trudged out into the snow. And by trudged, I mean we walked a little heavier than usual in the two inches of accumulated flurries.

There was a small grassy area, now blanketed in white, on the side of my apartment building. I walked into it, spinning around with my head lifted to the sky. Large flakes floated down, hitting me in the eyes and causing me to blink rapidly. I couldn't help but smile at the feeling of the fresh snow lightly falling onto my cheeks and instantly melting. It wasn't a very cold day, and it honestly felt refreshing.

Magical.

I flung my arms out as I was about to spin in one more circle, but Hale's gloved hand grabbed my own and pulled me into him.

The momentum caused me to push him backwards into the snow, and I landed on top of a grinning Hale. But I was only in the position for a moment, because then I was flipped over, my back hitting the snowy grass. At first, I could only feel the pressure of Hale's body on top of mine. But then his head popped into my vision, floating above my own and shielding me from the falling snow.

"Hale!" I protested, automatically laughing. It was like it was programmed into my head to joke about anything that I knew my brain could misconstrue into something more.

And that's why I told myself to keep smiling even though Hale was not. Gone was the goofy smile that he usually wore, and in its place was an unexplainable expression that was making my insides burn, despite being covered in snow. Hale closed his eyes slowly, almost as if he was in pain.

"Hale?" I asked tentatively. Maybe he had twisted something in our fall.

When his eyes opened again, their darkness pierced me.

"You have got to know," he said finally, pleading with his words. His head fell a little closer to mine, and I froze.

"I've got to know what?" I managed to get out.

He paused, his mouth opening and then closing again. Hale inhaled deeply, and then his words came out in a fierce whisper, his breath fanning across my skin. "You've got to know that I love you. How have you not figured out that I love you?"

He paused, and when I couldn't find any words to say back, he added, "And unlike that Felix guy, it didn't take me fifteen years to realize it. I've always known that I'm in love with you, Lana."

And as if that proclamation wasn't enough to burst my heart, Hale then closed the distance between us and brushed his lips against mine, once... then twice. He was achingly tender as the cold air mixed with between us, mingling with heated breath.

All the air left my body, but Hale was breathing life back into me as his mouth moved over my own, increasingly firm in its movements. I couldn't believe that this was happening, but I left all my thoughts behind and kissed him back.

"Hale," I breathed as I wrapped my arms around his neck. A small moan released from between his lips, and he redoubled his efforts, slanting his mouth across mine. I felt his tongue slip between my lips, and the desire I had been pushing down for so long spread through my body.

My tongue brushed against Hale's, and his gloved hand came up to cup my face. "Lana," he gasped in reply before kissing me hard, pushing my head further into the snow. I felt my hat loosen from my head, falling backward. I didn't care; Hale took the opportunity to push his fingers into my snow-covered strands.

Of all the times I've been kissed before, I've never felt it in my gut the way I did now. I've never been held with a desperate plea for more. But I've also never wanted anyone as deeply as I wanted Hale.

Suddenly he pulled back, sitting up and offering me a hand. His eyes met mine with a heated promise. Silently, I took his hand, and we stood together.

Hale released me from his grip only momentarily, so he could bend down to retrieve my hat. But then he grabbed my hand again and led me back toward my apartment. When we reached the door, Hale stopped, staring at me.

"What?" I asked. My head was too busy spinning. 

His eyes twinkled in amusement. "You have the keys."

"Oh! Right," I muttered before digging in my coat pockets, trying to find the source of the light jingling sound. Finally locating them, I pulled the keys out, my fingers fumbling as I tried to find the right one. It was hard with the way Hale was looking at me. My eyes darted to his, and I looked for something to say as I pushed the key into the lock, hearing the click of the door open.

"We need to go find out what the last letter says," I breathed before glancing up at him.

But he was shaking his head, a simmering smile working its way onto his face. Abruptly, Hale kicked the door open. "I don't give a damn about that letter right now," he said before pushing me through the doorway and up against the wall.

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