Take me to church part 1 Thorin x Reader

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Pairings: Thorin x Reader

Warning: Angst

Song: Take me to church - Hozier

Authors note: I tried ok. There's like no dialog and probably way to many metaphors but this song came on and this was the only thing I could think of.Let me know what you all think and if this gets enough likes I have an idea for part two in store!

It hurts to see those words spilling past his lips and watch them tumble into her ear. Such sweet nothings uttered into such a beautiful creature. He had chosen well.

But it had not been me. Why would it be?

Her graceful figure could coast across the ground with nary a sound and such a sweet Melody would fill the air anytime she spoke. Her smiles would set any one at ease.

I swear that the sun only seemed to shine for her.

It was the cold moon that would grace my presence. Filling me with such silent loneliness that I thought it would kill me.

I thought that he would, could have loved me. I had fallen so hard that God himself could not save me. I was crowned the fool and I was damned if I did not fulfill my role.

She got to keep the warmth of the one I love so dearly and as repayment I got to keep the company of an empty bottle.

I was letting this take over me but what else could I do?

She got my heart. She stole my entire world.

I began to distance myself. Using illness as an excuse to keep away from prying eyes.

It was Dwalin, surprisingly, who was the first to notice my attraction to Thorin. He was also the first to open his arms and comfort me when it all became to much to bear.

He helped me piece myself back together.

And what did I do? I took my half healed heart and displayed it upon a silver platter just for it to be carelessly tossed aside.

I wasn't aloud to even look in his direction when she was near. Wasn't aloud to hold the company of Thorin as an old friend.

I would try to speak to him and she would drape herself upon his arm and my words would stick to the back of my throat. The world would become such a muddled mess that I would have to excuse myself from their presence.

And the looks I would get from the others. Ones of such pity and sorrow. I couldn't handle it.

I turned to my God for piece of mind. Asking them for guidance. For a light in a room I could no longer find my way in.

I became more withdrawn no longer speaking to my only friends. Dwalin would come and try to bring me from my room. Fili and Kili would attempt to put a smile back upon my face. And it worked.

For a short while.

It got to the point I could no longer be on the same room. She so blatenly afraid that I would steel Thorin from her. As if I could take away the one thing that brought him joy. Even if it killed me his happiness meant everything to me.

She yelled at me in front of them.

Her rosy lips curled back and snarled. A row of straight white teeth turned to fangs to rip away at my throat. Her shining eyes became cold as stone while her words struck daggers into my heart.

I left and never came back. She made it clear.

I was never loved and never could be.

The dimmed light at the head of my alter had gone out. I was lost within that little room.

I would never get out.

Take me to church

I'll worship like a dog at the shrine of your lies

I'll tell you my sins and you can sharpen your knife

Offer me that deathless death

Good God, let me give you my life

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