The Light in my Darkness

Chapter 23

The days that followed were filled with tears and work. So much work. You'd already completed your final projects for your classes and once your professors discovered you had a show at the 107, they were more than willing to release you from attending the last two weeks of the semester.

Your time was split between your studio and the gallery. Steve had already covered the windows so the two of you could start hanging and rearranging your work. Meanwhile you were still working on some last minute pieces which you would occasionally show up to the gallery with.

The opening was now a mere two days away and everything was in place. Steve and you had retired to his office after once last look around. He poured you a drink and handed it to you before taking a seat behind his desk.

"How are you?" he asked.

You frowned at the drink in you hand and shrugged. "Everything looks good. I'm a little nervous but I know I put forward my best. I—"

"I'm not talking about the show, Y/N."

"Oh." Steve had very tactfully not mentioned Clint once since Thanksgiving. You had been hoping he'd continue in that vein until roughly the end of time.

"I left you alone because I could see you using your work to process things, but the show's ready. Your work is done. So how are you doing?" He tilted his head as he looked you over.

You sighed and leaned back in your seat. "He left me because I loved him too much even though I'm pretty sure he loved me too. He's fucked up and aggravating and I miss him." You gulped down the contents of your glass and sat it on the desk. "And I'm pretty sure I shouldn't be discussing this with you. He's your friend."

Steve gave a little shrug. "So are you. Besides, I like to think I'm a good enough friend I can tell Barton when he's making a colossal mistake."

That earned him a soft smile. "Thanks, Steve. I mean that."

He nodded. "Go home, Y/N. Get some rest. Take care of yourself and I'll see you Friday."

***

"Busy," Clint barked at the knock on his office door, expecting to be left alone after that.

The door opened and Natasha poked her head in with an arched brow and a frown. "Really?"

He cleared his throat and turned his attention to the paperwork on his desk. "I told Wade I wasn't to be disturbed."

"Good for you. I don't give a shit." She stepped into the room and shut the door behind her. He ignored her as she took one of the seats in front of his desk. He let the silence stretch. He had no desire for conversation. "Why are you being a dick?"

He glanced up at that. "Excuse me?"

She shrugged one shoulder. "You heard me. No one wants to come anywhere near you. I've got messages from clients and employees alike wondering what the hell is going on and I have no idea what to tell them."

"I don't answer to them. Or you."

"What about Wanda? Do you answer to her because she's as tired of it as the rest of us?"

He tossed his pen on his desk and leaned back in his chair. "She called you?"

Nat made a sound of agreement.

Clint sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. "I'm sorry. I'll try to be better."

"It seems to me that this wouldn't be an issue if you just kept her. She was good for you." She looked at her nails, purposely ignoring his eyes on her.

"You know why, Nat. It wouldn't last. It never does." He clenched his teeth in irritation with his best friend. He'd told her more than anyone. She should understand without making him talk about it.

"And this is based on your vast experience with healthy relationships?"

"All right, I get it. You think I should have stayed with her." He just wanted this conversation to be over. He spent enough time thinking about Y/N without Nat bringing you up.

"I do, but that's not the point." She straightened in her seat, then leaned toward him. "Why is it that you insist in punishing yourself? Nothing that happened with Laura was your fault. She was a conniving bitch who thankfully represents a small minority of the women out there. Why do you keep letting her dictate your happiness?"

"It's not about her. Not really." He turned his chair so his back was to her as he looked out the window. "When I found out about everything...well, you know how I was. Peter and I were supposed to go camping for a week. Try out some prototypes. I canceled on him. He was a little disappointed but he didn't mind. We rescheduled for another week."

Clint cleared his throat. "But he knew the prototypes were important and needed to be tested so he decided to go up without me. He was old enough and the site was already reserved. He left me a note. I didn't find it until after the accident. Until he..."

"Clint." Her voice was soft and full of pain.

He shook his head. He didn't deserve her sympathy. "I promised myself then that I would never allow myself to be broken like that again. I had to be there for Wanda."

"Bullshit."

He turned to face her. "What?"

"I mean, that was very touching and all, but it's an excuse."

"Are you fucking kidding me right now?" He'd never told anyone what he'd just admitted to her and this was her response?

"I'm going to be honest. When you lost Peter so soon after what happened with Laura, I was worried. Really worried. I couldn't see how you were going to pull yourself out of it. But you did it. And you raised a kickass kid in the process, but she's an adult now, Clint. You can't keep using her as a reason to not take the chance."

Nat got to her feet and headed to the door. She paused with her hand on the handle. "If anyone is worth the chance it's Y/N, and you know it." With that she was gone.

He buried his face in his hands. He wasn't wrong about this. Was he?

***

You sorted through the mail as you walked up to your apartment, frowning as you came across an envelope from a law firm. Odinsons Attorneys at Law. Why did that sound familiar?

Once you were in your apartment and had put your things away, you sat in a chair and opened the envelope. You unfolded the single sheet inside and quickly skimmed the letter. You sucked in a breath as you realized what this was. After taking a minute to calm yourself, you went back to the beginning and read it again. This time you went slowly making certain you understood what you were being told.

Without really thinking about it, you pulled out your phone and called Wanda. "Did you know about this?" you asked before she'd even finished saying hello.

"You're going to have to be more specific, Y/N. I know about a lot of things and not so much about others."

You smiled in spite of yourself. "I got a letter from Clint's lawyer."

"What?"

You hummed. "The apartment is mine as long as I am in school. He's also paying my tuition and having a monthly allowance placed into an account in my name. I'm supposed to make an appointment to meet with them and fill out some paperwork."

"Holy shit, Y/N. He really does love you."

Your heart twinged with a jolt of hope you quickly shut down. "Or he feels guilty because I'm your best friend."

"Guilt is an apartment with his daughter and tuition. Your own place and a monthly allowance is pure love."

You shook your head, amused at her insistence. "You know I can't accept this, right?"

"The hell you can't."

"I feel like you shouldn't be encouraging me to take your dad's money."

"Oh, sweetheart, take it all. Maybe he'll come to his senses when he's broke."