Life. Love. Marriage. Children. No one talks about all the stages of Love. The movies and romance novels would have you believing it's just about the chase. It's as if once the man and woman declare their love for each other and we explain all misun...
I stumbled my way to my room with a half full bottle of Chardonnay (or should I say half empty given my mood) in one hand and my wine glass in another. At the bar downstairs I started with a few cocktails before the Chardonnay. My lightweight status after having kids should have made me numb by now – but I wasn't, I still felt the pain. Surrounded by luxury at the Ritz Carlton in the Half-Moon Bay one of the most romantic hotels around – I was alone. I had asked my husband for months to take me here and spend a weekend away from the kids, but he'd been too busy. And, somehow after this morning's shock I got in the car and this is where I ended up. I had assumed the first time I'd be here would be with him – and we would spend the weekend in bed. With the consistently foggy weather in Half-Moon Bay, I loved the idea of locking ourselves into a hotel room and never leaving. It would be too hard to stay cuddled in bed with the sun shining in. That's why I longed to come here.
Instead, I was here by myself. What was I going to do? They say over fifty percent of marriages in America end in divorce. I always thought I'd be the fifty percent that stayed together. If I got a divorce, I'd be the fifty percent that would have to shuttle my kids between homes or the new thing to keep them in the same place while the parents move from place to place. How would I be "amicable" to my ex-husband? How the hell does anyone have an amicable divorce – that's bullshit! Would I have to act civilized in front of the kids and pretend we're handling this like grown adults?
I would need a lawyer. I didn't know the first thing about hiring a lawyer. I knew some of my friends thought about the possibility of a divorce and had put some thought into it. Not me. I didn't think I needed to – so now the least prepared person would have to go through this.
Oh, and the pity! I knew I would hate how everyone would look at me when they find out. I hated when people pitied you and then talked behind your back.
My head hurt – was it from the alcohol or from all my thoughts. I needed to lie down. But, before I laid down, I was still a mom, and even drunk, I worried about my kids. I pulled out my phone and texted my husband:
"Samir is at Jack's house for a play date until 4pm and Jaya is at Alison's house for a play date. Please remember to pick them up. Call your parents for tomorrow's schedule – they'll know what to do. I need a bit of time on my own. Anjali."
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
