Silently Falling in Love: Lucky Charm THIS IS THE EDITED VERSION

Chapter 13 - What Next

After watching the sunset, I headed inside and found a spot near a fireplace; I wasn't ready to head upstairs. I didn't know why; I didn't want to be by myself. A waiter walked by and asked if I would like something and before I knew it, I ordered a Scotch. I don't like Scotch; it's Alex's drink. Before I could change my mind, the waiter had written the order and walked away. Why had I ordered a Scotch? What did I think ordering his drink of choice would bring us back together? Or maybe it gave me the illusion he was with me.

The waiter brought my Scotch, and I stared at it before taking a small sip. Nope, I still didn't like the taste, but I loved the smell. The smell reminded me of Alex. The smell of his cologne mixed with Scotch on his breath always turned me on. I felt flush thinking of the number of times he had held me in his arms and the two smells lingered all around me. God, I missed everything about him, his laugh, his smell, and his arms around me. It had been so long since I had experienced any of that with Alex. I wondered if the new woman in his life found those same things attractive. Did he drink Scotch with her? Did she drink Scotch with him? My heart ached thinking of the betrayal. The tears built behind my eyes again.

I distracted myself by looking around for something entertaining that would take my mind off of Alex to keep myself from crying. Looking at the lounge area, I saw couples of all ages, some young, some old, and some like Alex and I in the middle of it – neither old nor young. I wondered what their stories were, – were their lives simple or complicated. The couples spoke softly so I couldn't eavesdrop on their conversations. Early in our marriage before we had kids, we loved going to dinner and observing the couples around us and guessing what their story was. We picked out couples on their first date and made predictions on the probability of a second date. Chatting in Hindi, hoping no one around understood, we made up stories based on tidbits we overheard. It had been ages since we'd done that.

Suddenly, I heard laughter from the bar area where a group of a dozen young people enjoyed Friday night drinks. They looked to be in their mid to late twenties. I stared at them trying to figure out how well they knew each other. I wondered whether they were all friends or were some of them couples; would some of them end up becoming a couple? Would they one day marry the way Alex and I had? Life was funny. Watching the group socialize and relax at the end of a week reminded me how I had done the same thing at their age. Alex and I started out as friends; I never guessed someday we would fall in love, get married and have two children together. Even after I slept with him for the first time, I assumed it had been one of those shit happens incidents between friends.

After I snuck out of his apartment, I knew it was a matter of time before we would run into each other. A week after spending the night with him, all of us met at our favorite bar for Ali's birthday. I heard Alex was traveling, so I hadn't expected to see him. I found an empty stool at the end of the bar and ordered a vodka tonic. As I waited for my drink, I felt someone slide behind me and the person's lips were near my ear. Just as quickly, I whiffed the cologne and the Scotch, and I knew immediately it was Alex before he even spoke. His scent in all of these years hadn't changed. Even then I recognized it immediately.

"Did you have an early morning yoga class on Sunday?" he asked with constraint.

"No." I replied.

"A dance workshop?"

"No."

"A family emergency?"

"No." I replied again.

He twirled the stool around, so I faced him. "Then why did I wake up to an empty bed?"

I gulped and babbled out of nervousness. "Because I snuck out. Alex, I don't do these types of things. I've never had a one-night stand. I don't know what you're supposed to do. I know I'm not your type, so whatever happened was because of the alcohol. I didn't want to wait and have one of those awkward conversations about how things happen between friends and that... we should just put it past us and pretend it didn't happen. I'm not expecting anything from you... I'm okay with what happened. I'm a big girl and I could have stopped it if I wanted to so I'm not blaming you or anything like that. I'm sorry; I just don't know what you're supposed to do in these situations."