Sanditon revisited

15: With you I am my best self

Author's note: Sorry, this took long. Since last chapter the Sanditon sisterhood received the worst news possible and our world is undone. This does certainly NOT mean that I intend to put Sanditon from my mind! Still hopeful someone will have better sense than ITV and film a second series but in the meantime I will keep writing.

Thank you for being so supporting about my writing, it makes my favourite hobby all the more fun.

I have gotten a few questions from readers and thought I would answer here.

Will there be more chapters? Yes. I will write to the end of episode 8 and then continue beyond by making up my own story/season 2. Now there is more reason than ever. I have no clue how many chapters it will be yet, and I do not know how my story will go.

When will next update be? My updates are irregular. I write as often as life permits and post as soon as I feel the chapter is ready. I always tweet ( MissPiony) when there is a new chapter available.

This is last chapter before Christmas, but I have published a fluffy one-shot and there might be another so look out for those if you need a HEA in Christmas time.

Chapter 15: With you I am my best self

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In which Sidney has an epiphany and Mrs. C gets told off

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The race was over, and the crowd had dissolved, some people already heading back to London, but Sidney had stayed behind at the riverbank with the excuse that someone needed to ensure the boats were securely tied to their poles and the oars stowed away. Mrs. Campion was likely waiting for him in town, expecting him to join her to London but he was in no hurry. He needed time alone.

He had been irritable on the verge to enraged after the conversation with Charlotte. He was not annoyed with her but with everything and everyone else, himself most of all. He had snapped at Tom when he disturbed his train of thoughts with his silly strategy talk for the competition. Tom's sense for others' feelings truly was non-existent and Sidney had felt like walking away from the whole event but stayed out of loyalty. He had only answered with an absent-minded snort when Mrs. Campion wished him luck at the starting line, distracted by Charlotte at the corner of his field of vision. He had rowed furiously during the race, not because he cared if 'The Parkers' won but because he had so much steam he needed to get rid of. In each pull he applied maximum strength, as if rowing away from something, rowing towards something without knowing what. It did not bother him that Stringer's team won, until the team captain accepted the prize cup with the grumpy remark that this was not the prize he was after. The comment had stuck with him and now he replayed it in his mind.

What had Stringer eluded to? What prize? He brought the oars from the boats and put them down in the grass, reminiscing Charlotte bringing them the other way earlier. Suddenly he had a flash of her with Stringer instead. Remembered how easy they always seemed in each other's company; when they talked and laughed at the construction site, her comforting him after Old Stringer's accident, the banter between them during the cricket match and Stringer going soft on her when he bowled. Sidney's head started spinning and he felt slightly nauseous from the epiphany that hit him with force. Why had he not understood this before? All the signs were there, the evident happiness in her company, the unmasked admiration. Stringer was in love with Charlotte, of course he was. But more important to Sidney; was she in love with him?

By now he was so overwhelmed with emotion that he had to sit down in the grass. He was not sure why it mattered so much to him if Charlotte was in love with James Stringer, but it did. It mattered so much that his whole body tensed at the thought and an almost physical pain struck him.