1. Denial - you will do anything to tell yourself that this person that you're speaking to couldn't possibly - wouldn't dream of - leaving you on read. They must be incredibly busy, living the whirlwind life of a fourteen year old. Maybe they've deleted social media because they are so virtuous, even though they were last seen active two minutes ago...
2. Desperation - it will have been a week, and in the panic of being left without someone to flirt with to pass the time, you will send a desperate message in the hopes to start a conversation. This will either illicit a weak response, or continued ghosting.
3. Hope - you cling onto the fact that they will come back when they realise how exciting your conversation was. All those fascinating conversations about what kind of TV you watched, the local gossip, pets...
4. Anger - you'll feel rage when it slowly sinks in that you have in fact been ghosted. Why hadn't they just told you like an adult?! Why did they leave it to this guessing game?! Wasting your time?!
5. Sadness - deep down, no matter how much you tell your friends that you were done with that dickhead anyway, you'll still feel that melancholy inside you at the idea that no one wants to stick around. That people can discard you without a single thought. It is the unworthiness that ghosting breeds which facilitates you going round and round these stages with countless men because you feel like you deserve no better.
YOU ARE READING
Love Me: The Manoir
Non-FictionOur teenagers years are often described as blissful blips to be fawned after when we're old. But the reality is, these years are confusing. Baffling. Sometimes just downright strange. And so I documented my life. This isn't a memoir. It's a 'manoir...
